Jeanel's Fight

Happy 3rd Cancerversary

2011-07-03T21:38:00.004-06:00

This weekend we celebrated surviving 3 years since I was diagnosed! I remember that day like it was yesterday. My heart was so broken. I can't even describe how devastated I felt. For weeks I cried until tears came no more or until I fell asleep from pure exhaustion. As months passed, I remember waking up night after night, hoping it was just a nightmare. Unfortunately it was all too real.

As time continued we began to get a grip on our emotions and fell into a new routine involving lots of prayer, research, doctor appointments, treatments, surgeries, rest, and being the recipients of many different kinds of service.

In time, we developed a 'new normal' that brought us closer to God and closer to our family. One of the things we felt was important to teach the boys was to pray for miracles (not just one big miracle), so they could learn to see how God blesses us every day even if things didn't work out the way we wanted them to. That decision has been very important to us because it has shaped how Bruce and I count our blessings also.

As I look back over the past three years, I think about how my prayers have changed. Initially, the only thing that mattered was that I would be cured and that life would go back to how things used to be. I was so focused on being "cured" that I wasn't as appreciative for the blessings that I was receiving as I should have been. As I got more use to the idea that I had cancer, I focused my prayers on having a long life. (But when I was feeling sick, even a day could seem like an eternity, so maybe a long life wasn't really what I meant.) Then I progressed to the point were I could ask the Lord that "His will be done" in my life because He knows what is best and that way I would be happy. At that point I also struggled with how my faith affected "His will". It felt almost like a cop-out, because now I had no input and whatever happened, happened. That didn't seem quite right either, but at least I was at peace with whatever His will was for my life. That was real progress! Recently, I have prayed that I will be able to live as long as I need to to fulfill my mission here on earth. This actually feels like a good fit. It is up to me to do whatever I can to be an instrument in His hands, for as long as He sees fit. These ideas may seem like arguing semantics to many, but when you are a God-fearing, control freak like me, it feels better to be on the Lord's errand while He is in charge of how long that errand will be...

Three years later I am still not brave enough to say that I am grateful for trials, but I see the purpose of them. I know that they change us. For good or for bad, they change us and it is our decision which that will be.

Cancer has changed me for the good. It has changed my perspective, it has changed my priorities, it has fortified my relationships, and it has strengthened my testimony that Jesus is my Savior and that He is mindful of me. For these changes I am grateful!

I honestly feel like I am still here because of the faith and prayers of thousands! A humble and grateful 'thank you'!

Colorado Trip June 2010

2010-07-07T20:20:00.024-06:00

We started summer with a family vacation to Colorado. The first day we got a late start and drove 7 hours. Our road trip through Wyoming landed us in Laramie. The only requirement for the hotel was a pool, which the boys enjoyed at night and in the morning before we hit the road again.

Colorado greeted us with friendly signage, beautiful rocks, family and friends.

Our first few days were spent in Colorado Springs with the Nielsen's (Bruce's sister and family). It was so much fun to spend time with them and we thoroughly enjoyed there hospitality. The Nielsen's were wonderful hosts and filled our days with fun adventures such as Frontier Days, a trip to Valley of the gods, a train ride to Pike's Peak, a tour at the Air Force Academy, a minor league baseball game, play time at a state park, and a few picnics. What more could we ask for?!

The Stanley family shows our strength!

Ryker and Mom enjoying the view.

Landon and his cousin Matthew, scaling the rocks.

Landon scaring his mom.

Much better.....

The Nielsen's with the boys at the Air Force Academy.

Xander gets a boost.

Ryker chillin' with Matthew.

The Air Force Academy Chapel.

Getting ready to get on the train to go to Pike's Peak.

The view from on top of Pike's Peak.

Aunt Michelle with Xander and Ryker at the state park.

The boys playing kick ball together.

Landon crosses the monkey bars.

Landon

Xander

Ryker

A picnic with a view.

Thanks Michelle, Blake, and Matthew! We had a blast and will miss you!!!

Fortunately, while in Colorado Springs, we were also able to spend some time with our good friends, the Erickson's.

Me with my dear friend Linnea, watching an incredibly long t-bal game : )! (love you girlfriend!!!)

Ryker and Linnea's little girl, Sophie hit it off right away. This is them playing during the t-ball game. (Notice the port-a-potties in the background.)

But then he makes up for it by giving her flowers. What a sweet boy!

We took the kids to a pizza/play place for lunch. The first thing Landon wanted to do was to play dress up...

Love the accessories!

After leaving Colorado Springs, we headed towards Aspen to a beautiful resort where we met up with our friends, the Routson's.

The Stanleys and Routsons at the Roaring Forks Club.

We had a great time fishing, swimming, golfing, and exploring the beautiful area!

The gang in front of our cabin.

The first fishing location is affectionately known as, Poop Island because of all of the goose poop... But, at least the fish were biting. Landon and Chase could (and did) fish for hours on end.

Landon's first solo catch! The biggest one of the week!

Xander's first catch. Although, he doesn't count it because Bruce got it on the line and Xander just had to reel it in... while dad ran and got the camera.

I knew Kim would be a fish-catching machine.

But I had no idea she could beat a fish on a rock and make the blood fly all over everyone :)

So proud of my one fish.

The joys of exploring in a summer wonderland....

None of us are golfing pros, but we had a great time at the driving range!

Ryker and Tyler putting a plug in.

I'm not sure if Ryker hit the ball, but he sure gave it a good effort!

Xander setting the ball on the T.

Kim is a natural!

Chase gives it his all.

Bruce sizes it up...

I can't tell you the last time I was on a golf course.

My sweet boys.

Saying good-bye to the ranch.

A quick stop at the LDS temple in Denver.

Welcome home.

We can't imagine a more fun-filled vacation! Thanks to the Nielsen's, the Erickson's, and the Routson's for a memorable time!

Much love,

The Stanley's

Xander Turns 5

2010-07-07T11:44:00.005-06:00

I can't believe my sweet little Xander is 5 years old. It seems like yesterday we were in the delivery room and the doctor said it was time to push. I just looked at her and said, "No." Bruce looked at me with surprise and said, "No really, it is time to push." I then looked at the nurse and told her I was serious and I didn't want to push. We went back and forth for a little while and obviously, those not lying down in the bed won. But I was the real winner, because I was blessed with the an amazing, perfect baby, complete with a puckered 'pouty lip', but missing dimples. I remember the first time Landon (age 3) met Xander. He was so excited and in awe. He looked at him as I held him in the hospital bed and snuggled right up to him. Then he sat up and said, 'Where are his piggies?' Landon lifted up Xander's blanket and examined his baby brothers toes with such sweetness. Some things have changed, but it still makes my heart so happy to see my boys loving each other.

What a handsome little boy!

Xander is full of personality. He is friendly, witty, goofy, loving, kind, athletic, smart, and energetic. He give good snuugles, sloppy kisses, and pets me when he wants to be extra sweet. He loves to ride his bike and scooter and has amazing balance. This year he has fallen in love with anything that he can throw, bounce, or kick. His favorite food is shepherd's pie and corn on the cob. He has learned how to read this summer and is working hard at writing all of his numbers and letters. He is a very magical thinker and can't wait until he is old enough to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardery. I am so glad that Xander is part of our family!! Love you Cha-chi

Xander chose an ice cream cake over my homemade cake. It turned out to be a good thing because chemo was really tough this week.

The Zarts were really fun, but they only lasted a day before some one pulled off the fletch.

Ryker, Parker, Landon, Xander, and Tanner.

Happy Mother's Day 2010

2010-05-15T17:23:00.005-06:00

Happy Mother's Day to my mom!

My mom is wise, courageous, strong, kind, thoughtful, spiritual, deep, tough, loyal, trustworthy, faithful, loving, hard working, inspiring, fun, athletic, intelligent, and silly.

I feel honored to be her daughter. My mom has always taught me by example. She has taught me to be a fighter, she has taught me to be faithful, and she has taught me to seek the help of God in my life. What a legacy!

I love you Mom!

My Beautiful flowers from my thoughtful husband and children.

I am so grateful for the opportunity I have been given to be Landon, Xander, and Ryker's mom. I love my boys with all of my heart. I appreciate who they are and enjoy their individual personalities. They fill my days with projects, outings, stories, laughter, frustration, cleaning, cooking, organizing, playing, snuggles, hugs, adventure, inspiration, and love. They are my hopes and dreams. Along with Bruce, they make my life full and complete. I have been blessed!!

Thanks to all of you who are good examples and inspire me to be a better mom!

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 2010

2010-05-15T16:50:00.009-06:00

Salt Lake City Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 2010

Team Jeanel's Treasure Chest

The Stanley Family: Bruce, Jeanel

Landon (7), Xander (4), and Ryker (3)

Xander and Ryker took turns in the stroller and on Daddy's shoulders. Landon ran the race with his cousin Braden. Next time he'll remember to tell us where he is.

Page ran with Carson and Everett in the race in North Carolina.

Rick was on call, but wore a pink shirt to show his support.

We made it to the Finish Line.

Jeanel and Janene

My brother Paul and his wife Amy.

Nieces, Sadie and Jaclyn

Ryker and his 'best cousin' Jaclyn.

The race was awesome and the day was beautiful! It is so hard to describe the love and support that I feel at the race. It is an amazing feeling to know that so many people are fighting the fight together. Thank you to all of my friends and family who ran and walked! We had over 40 people this year. Next year we'll shoot for 100 :)!

love!

Jeanel

A Stressful Few Days with a Happy Ending!

2010-05-02T17:06:00.003-06:00

On Wednesday I went to my oncologists office for my weekly chemo. I had had a blood draw the week before and was awaiting the results without much anxiety, However, it came back with high alk-phos and low calcium. I had no idea what that meant, but new it wasn't good when the medical assistant put me in a room to talk to the doctor instead of sending me back to the chemo room like usual. I was informed that the blood abnormality was a sign of bone break down or liver problems and a PET scan was ordered for Friday.

On Wednesday night Bruce talked and I yelled. It felt sooo good. At this point I am unable to enjoy any physical outlet because of my energy level and limitations with my right arm after the lymph node dissection. I guess I've been holding a lot of emotion in, but as Bruce can tell you, I got it all out. He was so understanding and such a good sport, and best of all, I felt relieved.

Thursday was a light activity/bed rest day in preparation for the PET scan. My mom helped me organize the kids toys in the basement in the morning which helped me keep my mind occupied, but in the afternoon as I was in bed, the sadness was overwhelming again. At night Bruce and I talked and a sense of urgency came over me that I should stop whining and spend my time being productive in accomplishing my life's work. It was a stark contrast to the way I was feeling, almost like an adrenaline rush had changed my focus.

Wednesday morning came and the PET scan went well. Only one needle stick was required to pump me up with the radioactive juice and I wasn't crazy antsy in the scanner. My sister picked me up from the scan and we went to Costco. I was convinced that the scan was bad, but was happy to be with Suzette. While we were in the check out line at Costco, Bruce called with the amazing and unexpected news that my scan was clean.

Words can't describe how happy I am and how grateful I am for more time, but had the results come back differently my faith would be unchanged because I know that everything is in the Lord's hands. He is mindful of me and my family.

A great big hug and happy cheer for my good news!!!! Thanks for your prayers and help with the boys!!!

Love ya, Jeanel

ps Race for the Cure SLC is May 8th, 8:30am at the Gateway.

Beautiful Hawaii

2010-04-18T21:13:00.019-06:00

The view from our hotel room lanai.

At the beginning of April Bruce and I enjoyed a wonderful trip to Maui. Bruce feels better if he says it was a business/pleasure trip, but it was really all pleasure. We had amazing weather and had so many 'once in a life-time' experiences. We both really like to explore new places and Hawaii is a great place to do just that. Maui is a beatiful island with every kind of topography from tropical to desert. It was wonderful to experience it's varied beauty from the land (walks and car drives) and from the air (zip line and helicopter ride). Unfortunately pictures don't do it justice, but here are some photos from our trip to paradise.

Bruce on the practice line...

On one of the zip lines (totally over 3 miles) we were able to go backwards.

The view from the top of the tropical plantaion as we waited for our turn to zip.

Bruce as he prepares for the mile-long line.

Jeanel flying through the air.

We enjoyed a day snorkeling tip to this crater (Mo lo kini). The visibility was amazing. We loved the reef and even got to see an octopus. At Turtle Town we swam with green sea turtles.

On the way to and from our snorkeling adventure were entertained by the whales.

The twin falls near the Haleakula volcano.

A cool cave with pristene water. Is that Bruce skinny dipping?

The coast line on the west side of the mountain. Bruce didn't believe that the road could truly be one lane, but we found out the guide book was right. I was scared out of my mind as we drove down the cliff-lined, mostly uninhabited (except by huge cows) side of the island. But it was breath-taking!

We had the most spectacular view during our dinner at Mama's Fish House. The food was so amazing that we practically licked our plates clean.

The Mama's Fish House beach.

We were dazzeled by the sites of paradise in this helicopter and had the good fortune of sitting in front with the pilot.

Volcanic fields.

Blow hole.

Beautiful tide pool with crazy people hoping the ocean doesn't wash them out to sea.

Where did all the people go?

Road tripping.

With a grateful heart I thank Bruce for a wonderful trip, for new memories made, for lots of laughs shared, and for time well spent. I can't imagine anything closer to heaven. Here's to many more!!!

Family Head Shaving

2010-04-18T19:28:00.004-06:00

My blog has actually been haunting me for quite some time. Sorry it has been soooo long.

On March 13th we had a family head shaving party at Suzette's. My hair was falling out in clumps and the bald patches were becoming too obvious. Landon and my niece, Alision took turns cutting my hair (nothing to lose) and my nephew, Sam pulled a huge chunk out which left a bald patch the was visible even after the shaving. All of the boys decided to have their heads shaved too. On the up side, it has been so nice not having to do my hair and we don't even have to comb the boys hair!

I'm still not a huge fan of head gear, so I spend most of my time without anything on my head. The boys and Bruce are used to it. My head is either hot or cold, so my scarves and hats come on and off frequently.

Life is good at the Stanley home. We continue contently down our path of 'new normal'. Bruce is 95% better. He is back to a full work load and is able to help around the house again. I finished my 8th chemo treatment and have maintained a good level of energy.

We survived spring break spending a few days at Suzette's house, having fun at Chuck E. Cheese, and attending multiple parties. We all had a great time and I had a glimpse of what summer will be like...

love to you all!

Jeanel

When it Rains...

2010-03-09T20:05:00.007-07:00

This past two weeks have been a little crazy around here. It started on Tuesday, 23 February when Bruce tested positive for the swine flu (yes, he did have the shot but to no avail). By Friday he had become so dehydrated and sick that he required IV fluids. The doctor also discovered Bruce had pneumonia, so it was off to the hospital to be admitted. I really thought he would perk up after a day or two, but it was not that easy.

At the same time all three boys came down with a significant cough, my white cell count plummeted from chemo, and I had a weekend course to maintain my occupational therapy license. Thankfully, we had great help from my parents and Sue taking care of the boys while I attempted to limited my exposure to the them, spent some time with Bruce at the hospital, and attended my course on joint replacements.

Bruce was hospitalized for a full week, during which time he has almost 2 liters drained off of his right lung. He returned home on Friday and continues to require oxygen. His energy level is limited, but improving. He is hoping to back to work part-time next week. It is going to take awhile to get back to normal, but he is faithful about doing his breathing exercises and walking on the treadmill.

Although things have been crazy, we have learned valuable things through this reversal in roles. I understand the stress of maintaining the house and single parenting, while worrying about Bruce's well-being and he understands how difficult it is to feel sick, have no energy, and wish that you could help take care of our family. If anything, we have a greater appreciation for each other. So all though this has been a challange, it has also been a blessing.

Chemotherapy continues. 3 down, who knows how many to go. I have been tolerating it pretty well. It hasn't made me too sick, but my energy is starting to go and my blood counts are very low. I've required shots to boost my counts in order to continue treatment. It is discouraging and I pray that my body will be strengthened in this fight. My hair started to fall out about 5 days ago and each day it get worse, but so far I'm the only one who can tell.

All in all, we are doing well. The boys are happy and no worse for the wear. We are happy and on the mend. We are grateful for all of your help and prayers.

Love,

Jeanel

Chemo Again...

2010-02-21T15:54:00.004-07:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I started chemo again on Thurs, 18 February. I haven't felt very motivated to update my blog. I guess if I don't talk about it, it didn't or won't happen. Wouldn't that be nice!

Having a recurrence of my cancer is something that we knew was a likely possibility, but something we neither expected nor planned for. (Denial has been one of our strong suits.) We had never researched what would come next if the cancer returned. Since surgery, we have gotten opinions from 3 doctors.

The first opinion was from my doctor in Seattle with whom we have been doing the study vaccine. We then got an opinion from my oncologist here in Ogden, and then another one from my breast oncologist at the Huntsman Cancer Institute. All three of the doctors are on the same page, relatively speaking. Which is to say, that no one has the answer. No one knows how successful the treatments will be. At least they all mentioned the same chemotherapy drugs....

So, the plan is to do weekly chemotherapy treatments for 4-6 months. I've never done chemo consecutively for that long, but we will see how it goes. I will get another PET scan in 2-3 months to see if the chemo is effective.

This has definitely knocked us for a loop. I'm not sure which has been harder, this or the initial diagnosis. That may sound odd, but we really do well living in denial.

We are recovering from our shell shock and are so grateful for all of the faith, prayers, service, cards, flowers, and meals.

Much love from grateful hearts,

The Stanleys

Where is Ryker?

2010-02-21T15:46:00.002-07:00

I'm the only parent in our family who can say that they have never lost any of our children, but yesterday I did get a little scared. I thought Ryker was in his room taking a nap, but when I went upstairs to get him he wasn't in his bed. I quickly turned around to look in the other kid's rooms but found Ryker tucked away on the middle shelf of his changing table. (And yes, he has been potty trained for about 8 months. We just haven't gotten around to getting rid of the table.)

Valentine's Day 2010

2010-02-21T15:37:00.003-07:00

Bruce is Mr. Breakfast, which evidently induces big smiles.

Pink initial pancakes.

Yummy pink heart pancake.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love,

The Stanleys

Ryker turns 3!!!!

2010-02-21T14:54:00.005-07:00

I can't believe my baby is 3! What a wonderful time it has been. Ryker brings love and laughter into our family. He is incredibly smart, expressive, and insightful. He may be the baby of the family, but in a lot of ways he is the third parent. For some reason, he is the one to remind his older brothers what they should be doing. I love how he uses our words to get the boys back on track. Ryker is a great player. He has an amazing imagination and can have fun with any household item. Ryker is very kind, thoughtful, polite. He does not like his hands dirty and likes to tell me to put things away, but in his own world he is a total 'pack rat'. Although he still needs a nap, he fights falling asleep and can be heard playing and talking to himself an hour after bedtime. Ryker loves to sing songs, read books, paint, color, and cut paper. He has been my steady companion since my surgery. He has been so gentle and helpful. His hugs, kisses, and pats lift my spirits!

Love you, my Rykie Roo.

Ryker's family birthday celebration was a little delayed because of my hospital stay, but the beauty of being 3 years old is that you can celebrate your birthday any day as long as there is a cake and some candles.

Ryker was very opinionated in chosing his birthday theme. For some reason he was very stuck on bowling and also wanted to add balloons and presents to the cake.

Ryker opening his presents.

Family bowling.

Never thought I'd need gutters!

Ryker's new 3 year-old smile.

Landon's smooth style, perfected with Wii bowling.

Xander- satisfied with his performance!

New Fight

2010-02-07T14:13:00.001-07:00

Dear Friends and Family,

Jeanel was finally able to leave Huntsman on Wednesday evening and is currently recovering at her sister Suzette's house. She is very sore, tired, and emotionally drained. The ovarian pathology results came back today, and are most consistant with adenocarcinoma, poorly differentiated likely from a primary breast cancer, with 2/5 lymph nodes positive in the periaortic lymph nodes. All other biopsy results throughout the abdomen were negative. We think this means more chemotherapy in the near future and the battle will go on.

When we did the initial mastectomy we essentially "debulked" the tumor (got rid of the major source of tumor that could spread throughout the body). In essence, that is what we have again done, by getting rid of the ovary and the positive lymph nodes. These were the only areas big enough to highlight on the last PET scan. The purpose of more chemotherapy will be to further reduce any smaller residual areas of tumor in her body to keep the cancer in check. The hope is then we can return to another season of remission such as we have had for the last 9 months.

Thank you for your many notes and words of support and continued prayers,

Love,

Bruce

Cancer Never Sleeps

2010-02-07T14:09:00.001-07:00

Dear Friends and Family,

First and foremost we wish our youngest son Ryker Thomas a happy third birthday today. We miss and love him on his special day.

Our fight with cancer has always been an ongoing battle. We have enjoyed the last 9 months essentially cancer free. Our lives in many ways have returned to normal, with Jeanel and I returning to full work duties, her hair and energy has come back to normal with the exception of being crazy curly. We have been to Wisconsin , Chicago , and Disneyland, and Jeanel has enjoyed all of her trips to Seattle with me, her parents, her sister Suzette and my sister-in law Brooke. We truly have been blessed with a wonderful season of health.

Thursday 1.21.10, Jeanel was due for her routine PET scan. This required her to be on bed rest the day before and limited activity the day of the procedure. She woke up at 3:00 am with right lower quadrant pain. Ever the martyr, she waited until morning for me to push on her abdomen, and immediately I suspected an appendicitis. Her mother brought her to my clinic in the morning, and while the white blood cellcount was normal, her doctor and I suspected appendicitis. The PET scan was followed by a CT scan, and the results were suspicious forovarian cancer with one aorto-caval 1 cm lymph node. Otherwise PET scan was normal. We consulted OB/GYN and were referred to Hustsman Cancer Center in SLC to GYN ONC (cancer surgeon that take care of female cancers). After a very rough night on Thursday (due to pain), we met with Dr Soision on Friday at 11 am. After reviewing the scans and chart, he stated he was fairly sure this was a benignovarian torsion, but was willing to admit her to the hospital and operate the same evening.

Jeanel was taken to the OR at 6:15 pm, and at 8:45 he came out and informed me of both good and bad news. Bad news: this was cancer of the ovary on the cryosection taken intraoperatively. The good news was that he didn’t see any other cancer. The tumor was 11 cm in diameter on the right ovary, and there was no torsion of the ovary. However, once the cancer was found, this meant looking through the entire abdomen for any other cancer seeding including checking the diaphragms, running the entire bowel, biopsying lymph nodes, and removing the greater omentum. He also removed the uterus, both ovaries and ovarian tubes and the appendix (our request). She has a long vertical midline incision from the bottom of the ribs to the pubis and 41 staples.

We have loved the Huntsman Cancer institute. The building is absolutely beautiful, and the room spacious, comfortable and ornate and the view is second to none of the entire Salt Lake Valley . The aides and nurses have been very attentive and kind as have been all of our doctors. This all being said, they did make a big mistake the first night after the surgery. Jeanel was supposed to have had an epidural placed in the operating room and a PCA pump (pain meds on demand). Instead she was left with a highly inadequate dose of dilaudid that she initially could only request every two hours. Her dilauded would only last for 20 minutes and then she would be in a lot of pain. I stayed up with her all night as she begged and pleaded for pain meds trying to talk her through this. The resident in the night did increase the dilaudid to every 1 hour, but still this was not adequate. When her resident/surgeon came in at 0530, I insisted that they should switch to morphine, or a PCA pump or something additional because of all the pain she was in. The resident/surgeon had no idea that she had not been on the PCA and epidural through the night and immediately apologized and ordered these. Several hours later she finally had some level of pain control with the PCA, but by that point was far too painful to position for an epidural. Needless to say, it was a very rough first night. I feel bad I didn’t insist on more sooner. It has been a long time since I have done a surgical rotation, but I should have known better. My deepest apologies to Jeanel.

Besides a mild scare the day after surgery for a possible blood clot to the lungs (acute desaturation of oxygen, chest pain, shortness of breath and tachycardia for 15 minutes—with a negative CT angio of the chest) we have had an uneventful hospital stay. She has weaned off the NG tube, and is tolerating jello, pudding, broth and water. Tomorrow we will wean off the pain pump, and the urine catheter, and hopefully the IV and oxygen. The current plan is to be discharged on Tuesday. Jeanel plans to go to her sister’s house until she is ready to be around the kids again.

So now we are left hoping for the pathology results to be a stage 1 A ovarian cancer, in which case the surgery is curable. Alternatives also include more advanced stages of ovarian cancer, or metastatic breast cancer that has taken over the ovary. We continue to pray for our miracles and are grateful for the miracles we have received.

Thanks for your love, prayer and support,

Bruce

Merry Christmas 2009!

2010-01-03T18:14:00.004-07:00

We had a very Merry Christmas! It started remarkably early when Landon woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. He was unable to sneak a peak at the presents under the tree because Bruce was sleeping in the hallway... Upon returning to his room he reported to Xander that he didn't see if Santa had come yet, "because Dad had grabbed his ankle." The boys quickly returned to sleep and awoke a little after 7. Landon and Xander enjoyed the excitement of the morning and searched for presents with their names on it while we waited for Ryker to wake up.

Grandma and Grandpa Otto were able to join us Christmas morning. It was so much fun to have them enjoy the wonders of Christmas morning with our family!

The boys had a great time playing with all of their presents. The morning was filled with an amazing amount of brotherly kindness and sharing.

Ryker's favorite presents were chapstick and a Tinker Bell sucker. Another one of his Christmas favorites was a Nativity scene made out of popsicle sticks that he got from his teacher at church. He loved carrying it around and showing people baby Jesus and the star in the heaven.

Bruce and the boys before church.

Christmas dinner with some of the Stanley cousins.

We also had a great New Year's party with the Otto's. After a late start, we enjoyed a dinner with great variety and family time. We continued the tradition of a homemade gift exchage. The highlight of the gifts was a DVD made by my brother Paul of my dad's slides.

We are grateful for new memories and time shared with our loved ones this holiday season. We are mindful of the amazing health and happiness we have been blessed with and recognize the hand of God in our lives.

God bless us all to make 2010 a year to remember!

Snow Day

2009-12-13T19:22:00.002-07:00

What's better than a snow day? Two in a row!!!

The boys absolutely love shoveling.

The weather was great and Ryker loved being outside!

Here is a shot of the beginnings of Bruce's famous snow mound.

Let it snow!!!

Seattle

2009-12-12T20:36:00.004-07:00

Since August I have been traveling to Seattle on a monthly basis to participate in an experimental vaccine in an attempt to build an immune response against the tumor cells. This last trip I took with my sister-in-law Brooke, who moved from the Seattle area to Utah just over 3 years ago. We had a great time and were able to see the sights and visit friends.

We took a ferry from Brementon to Seattle. It was cold, but the sights were amazing.

One of Brooke's friends showed us the local Seattle hot spots.

I had a chance to stay at my friend Lilian's for a night and also meet up with her for dinner in the city. One of my other highlights was visiting Alesha and meeting her sweet daughters. (Sorry no picture.)

The Public Market has amazing seafood. This is the stand where on a previous trip, my mom and I bought crab and took it back to the hotel to not only eat, but also cook. It was truly a gourmet meal and tons of fun!

The fruits and veggies are unbelievable!!!

Brooke and I stayed at a hotel that had a gingerbread house contested featuring themes from various movies. Large companies donate their creations and streams of people come to feast their eyes.

This was my favorite scene. Amazing creativity!

This week Bruce and I also did a presentation for the McKay-Dee Family Medicine Residency to educate the residency about inflammatory breast cancer by sharing our story. While preparing for the lecture, Bruce and I realized how difficult this past year and a half has been. Reflecting back over the course of the previous 18 months opened some wounds, but also reminded us how blessed we have been and helped us be more grateful for today. Julie was sure right when she said, "It's amazing what a difference a year makes."

I hope you are enjoying this holiday season! Our boys are at such fun ages. They all love to sing, especially Christmas carols. Ryker started carrying around a plastic bucket with a foam wedge and a foam letter and saying that it was, 'the little Lord Jesus'. Xander and I have asked multiple times which is 'the little Lord Jesus', but we haven't gotten an answer. I ask out of curiosity, but I think Xander asks so that he knows which one to take when he wants to bug Ryker. That pretty much sums up the Christmas spirit at our house. Boys!....

Love to you all!

Jeanel

Happy Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-29T09:32:00.005-07:00

This year we had a wonderful Stanley Family Thanksgiving at Bruce's brother's house in Mountain Green. There were 31 people, including 99 year-old Grandma Green. Brooke did an outstanding job hosting, providing tasty food and a festive atmosphere. The adults enjoyed lovely conversation and beautiful music, while the cousins had a great time playing together.

The following day we attended a house-warming party at my parent's newly renovated home in Layton, UT (about 10 minutes from us). 22 of us gathered to enjoy their new home, good eats, and treasured family-time. We missed Rick and his family, but look forward to seeing them at Christmas.

This is a special time of year that we have the opportunity to take some time to not only count our blessings, but be truly grateful for them. Last Sunday in church I learned a new way to look at my life and be grateful, even for things that I might not always think of as blessings. Here are some of the things I have thought about:

I am grateful for laundry because it means my kids have clothes to wear.

I am grateful for dishes because it means we have food to eat.

I am grateful for my husband being gone because it means he has a job and can support our family.

I am grateful for picking up because it means my kids have toys to play with.

I am grateful for feeling a little sick after my treatment because it means I have modern medicine to help fight the cancer.

I am grateful for the noise in my house because it means I have three little boys to love.

I am grateful for the door that is left open because it means my boys have a safe place to play.

I am grateful for the price tag at the pump because it means I have a car to drive.

I am grateful for balancing holiday time with our families because it means my husband was raised by loving parents.

I am grateful for the alarm clock because it means I need to go to the gym to take care of myself.

I am grateful for the toothpaste on the counter because it means some must have made it onto their toothbrush.

I am grateful for my monthly trips to Seattle because it means I get to spend time with someone I love while hopefully keeping my cancer at bay.

Things in our life may not always be how we would like, but we have the opportunity to find the bright side and let it be our focus. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

I count you as one of my blessings!

Love, Jeanel

Another Catch-Up Post

2009-11-22T11:37:00.011-07:00

I can't believe it has been so long since I last updated my blog. As time keeps slipping away, I feel horrible because I haven't been posting, especially since I love ready everyone else's blogs. Here is a quick review of the past few months.

Bruce and I took a trip to Victoria Island, BC in August (when we missed Landon's actually birthday, but not the celebration) before we went to Seattle to begin the vaccination program. Victoria is amazing! It is beautiful, green, blue, and charming. Victoria is actually one of the first places Bruce took me when we were dating, so it was nice to go back together.

We went whale watching on a Zodiac. The guide says we saw a few whales, but we're not so sure...

The 3 hour boat ride was a blast (especially the first hour). It was roller coaster-like as we slammed against the ocean and probably not a good choice because of my weakened bones, but we are no worse for the wear and had a great time.

That same day we enjoyed Butchart Gardens. I have never seen such a beautiful place! We walked for hours and enjoyed the scenery. One of the funny things was that I had taken a dramamine to avoid sea sickness during the Zodiac ride, so it was a struggle staying awake even in such amazing surroundings. At the end of the day we watched a spectacular fire works display.

We also went on a bike ride along Victoria's scenic shore line. When we went to the bike store we saw a sign for hybid bikes. Naturally we both thought that meant electic/pedal bikes, not road/dirt bike hybrid. We were a little disappointed, but I decided to get an electric bike because it hadn't been long since I had been off of chemo. I tried not to use the electric boost as much as possible, but some of the hills were enormous. Bruce took the lead to set the pace and I stayed back a good distance so that he couldn't hear me laugh as he charged up the hills!

Landon enjoyed another soccer season, playing into the night-time hours during practice. Over half-way through the season, I was driving Landon to his game and he was telling me how he hadn't been trying his hardest. We joked around a little bit and made a little wager. To our suprise (even Landon's) he scored 5 goals that game.

In September we went to a surpise birthday party for Amber Chase. She was so excited and had an amazing showing of love and support. It was a great celebration of her life. She has a beautiful family of 5 children and a wonder husband, named Dan. Amber passed away from inflammatory breast cancer on 14 October. She faught an amazing fight and has been a great example of faith and perseverance for me as I have struggle with IBC. You can check out her inspiring blog at amberchase.weebly.com

Here are a few pictures of the boys on their first day of school. Landon is in second grade and Xander is in a combination class of preschool/kindergarten.

Two weeks into the school year we took the boys and went to California to visit Bruce's brother, Michael and his family. On the way there, Bruce road tripped with the boys while I stayed behind to help my sister with her cupcake business. On the way back, Bruce also road tripped solo with the boys as I flew to Seattle for my second vaccination.

We enjoyed the company and hospitality of the 'California Stanleys' and then headed off to Disneyland. Ryker stayed behind for the first few days and enjoyed his time with Aunt Denise and cousin Sarah.

We had a great time at Disneyland. The boys enjoyed all of the 'big rides', shows, characters, and Disney magic. My favorite thing was watching the boys learn how to help the Jedi. I can still remember feeling 'the Force' walking out of the theater after watching the Star Wars movies.

Here is my attempt at a picture of the boys up by Snow Basin. The scenery was spectacular. The photo shoot was somewhat stressful as I tried to get the boys to look at the camera, smile, not touch each other, not fall off the mountain, and not get hit by a car all at the same time. 50+ pictures taken and I still wasn't able to accomplish my objective...

Halloween was really fun this year. Landon announced he was not going to be Spider Man (for the third year in a row) or Buzz Light Year. He is way too old for that kind of thing. He decided he wanted to be a spider web, which turned out to be a hit. He liked it and it was easy! What more could I ask for.

Xander had a hard time deciding what he was going to be. He was very excited to be a fireman and at the last minute decided that wasn't scary enough. So, Bruce took him to get some muscles and he was all smiles.

Ryker was a great spider, which went well with Landon's web. It was tons of fun taking the kids trick-or-treating. They had a great time running from door to door, handing out candy, and counting their loot. Bruce decked out the house with a huge spider web in our foyer picture window, a spider that fell down from the door when the trick-or treaters knocked, scary music, and of course the fog machine.

I hope this update finds you all happy and healthy!!

love,

Jeanel

Clean PET Scan!!

2009-09-25T18:14:00.005-06:00

I want everyone to know our amazing news!!! I had a PET scan on Sept 10th and it show no evidence of disease!! It is a huge relief and an amazing blessing!! We received the results prior to our family vacation to Disneyland (pictures and post to follow). We had a wonderful time and feel so blessed to enjoy this healthy time! I can't express how grateful I am for health and energy. Not an hour goes by that I don't think about how blessed I have been and how nice it is to have life back to 'normal'. Thanks for your continued prayers!!

Love to you all!
Jeanel

Landon's 7th Birthday

2009-09-09T19:13:00.004-06:00

We celebrated Landon's 7th birthday a little early because I started an experimental vaccine program in Seattle and we were gone on his actual birthday. It worked out great because Landon was able to have 3 days of being the birthday boy. Before leaving we had a "family birthday party" with brothers, parents, cousins, aunts, uncle, and Connor in attendence. Landon has been so excited to turn 7 because most of the tv shows he has been wanting to watch are rated Y7. In prepartion for his birthday he decided to tivo a couple of shows (... he definetly is a planner). One of the shows he is especially excited to watch is Ben 10, so he wanted me to make a Ben 10 cake.

Landon is a wonderful boy with lots of ideas and energy. He is an amazing helper and is super smart. He has the faith of an angel and prays for his mom every day. He loves to play soccer, baseball, basketball, and ride bikes. He is an excellent reader, but enjoys being read to even more. One of his favorite things is going on a date with his mom or dad all by himself. He loves slushies and cheese sandwiches. He can't wait for more teeth to fall out. He gives the best hugs and kisses. I love you my Landy Lou!

Highlights Summer 2009

2009-09-09T17:28:00.015-06:00

It has been an incredibly long time since I blogged. I suppose I could try and come up with an excuse, but It would be too philosophical, so I won't. Here are some Highlights from our summer....

In June we had a Nieces' Weekend at Suzette's. We had a great time! We made crepes for dinner, practiced up on our tennis with Grandma, went swimming, and made braclets.

I also enjoyed a visit from Kristine and Missy and their families.

In July Bruce and I celebrated our 5th anniversary in Chicago. We went to The Field Museum, The Shedd Aquarium, The Science Museum, The Willis Tower (aka Sears Tower), The Planetarium,and Navy Pier. We also went on a dinner cruise and stopped by Midwestern University (where I got my master's degree). I was blessed with energy to enjoy the trip and a great travel companion. It was a wonderful get away!!

Sue and I took the boys on a field trip to the Tree House Museum.

At the end of July we spent the day in East Canyon with the Stanley family. We were able to do a Pioneer hike, swim, and play games.

At the beginning of August we had the Otto Family Reunion. We went swimming, played family wiffle ball, ran relay races, made cardboard box structures, roasted smores, put on skits, and hiked Stewart Falls. We had a great time, but also missed Rick and his family.

The first day of school came quickly. Landon is in 2nd grade and Xander is in daily morning pre-school.

1st Cancerversary

2009-07-12T10:42:00.002-06:00

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. It's hard to want to sum up the events of the last year, so it continually has gotten pushed to the back burner...

On 27 June 2008 we knew it could be bad, really bad.

We had the car packed and boys strapped in. We were ready for the Stanley Family Reunion, but we had one stop to make before heading up the canyon. I had an appointment for a mammogram and ultrasound. I had had a 1-inch "bruise" that hadn't gone away in three weeks and was remarkably symmetrical. I remember the nurse being puzzled as to why this would be cause for a work-up, but after seeing the mammogram results, she ushered me to the ultrasound room without hesitation. I remember the ultrasound tech scanning for less than a minute before getting the doctor. There was a possibility of a much less serious diagnosis, but the doctor was 90+% sure it was Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC). I will always be grateful that I had an interventional radiologist who knew what IBC was and properly diagnosed me right away. Unfortunately, this is not the case for most women with IBC.

As we drove up the canyon toward Heber City for family vacation, I remember calling my parents and asking my dad to google IBC. He was able to locate the information and quickly learned of the devastating nature of the cancer before reading aloud all of the terrible details. He told us enough for us to understand the deadliness of the disease, but spared us some of the trauma.

I remember crying the entire time as we drove to family vacation. When we arrived at Heber Valley Girl's Camp, we decided not to say anything to the family to avoid taking away from the fun family time that vacation brings. We had a great time during the day but at night I soaked my pillow all alone, as Bruce lie awake across the cabin (that we shared with 3 other Stanley families) with Ryker (17 months). We so badly needed to be together, but in a strange environment, Ryker would not settle down by himself.

As family vacation came to a close, we informed everyone of our "bad news" and I asked Bruce's brother, Michael, for a priesthood blessing because Bruce was too emotional. As the Stanley men laid their hands on my head I couldn't contain my sorrow and tears. I wish that I had someone write down the blessing because the only thing I heard is that I wasn't promised a cure...

On 1 July 08, upon returning from vacation I had a biopsy and the results confirmed it was IBC. I remember Janene was at my house watching the boys. I was coming home from after discharging my last home health patient and knew we were expecting the results by 2 pm. It was a little before 2:00 when I pulled in the driveway and saw Bruce's car. Just seeing his car, I knew it wasn't good news. The sadness I felt was like I experienced a death of a family member.

As a look back on the past 377 days, I can say with complete confidence that I have cried myself to sleep close to 300 of those nights. I do remarkably well during the day and enjoy it to the fullest, but when I am tired the reality of my broken heart is too much. Having said that, I want everyone, especially my boys, to know that God comforts me each night as I pray and count the blessings I have be given and continue to thoroughly enjoy. As a matter of fact, through my cancer I have gained a greater appreciation of the presence of the Lord in all things in my life.

As I reflect back on the rest of the year I have been blessed beyond measure with amnestic, foggy memories. I think that is a mix of both a blessing from God and a conscious choice to help myself cope and live each day happily.

This year can read like a bad box score. 12 consecutive weeks of Taxol and Herceptin with every fourth week adding Zometa. Two weeks later I underwent a bilateral mastectomy with right axillary dissection, followed a week later with a total thyroidectomy and anterior neck dissection down to my aorta. Upon partial recovery, I continued chemo with 4 bi-weekly treatments of A/C (the Red Devil). During the holiday season, I celebrated my last A/C treatment the day before Thanksgiving and completed 3 1/2 weeks of radiation treatments (given twice daily) a few days into the New Year. Soon after my radiation was over, I endured what I consider to be one of the worst times of this years. For almost a month I was off of all thyroid medication--no energy or metabolism and an overwhelming feeling like crap. All of that for a tiny $10,000 sip of radioactive iodine. After regaining some strength and enjoying a time with hair, I bribed the doctors into giving me a third course of chemo which consisted of Taxol, Cytoxin, Herceptin, and Zometa administered every other week for 12 weeks. During those 12 weeks my hair had thinned, but a couple of days after my last treatment it really started to fall out and I lost my hair for the second time.

Although my treatments and surgeries have been extensive, I have been blessed beyond measure with an unbelievable ability to tolerate chemo, surgeries, radiation, and radioactivity without too much sickness or other side effects.

I have been supported and served by my family beyond comprehension. Bruce has be a source of great encouragement and comfort. Our relationship has been fortified as we have fought this fight together, side by side. My boys are sweeter than ever. Their loving hugs, prayers, and continuous drawings and crafts bring a smile to my face and lift my spirits. I am so grateful for the sacrifice of my parents, especially my mom, as they came to live with us and help with our day to day life. My dad has been wonderful with his wisdom, advice, perspective and medical know-how. I am grateful that my relationships with my siblings has been strengthened. My brother, Jeff and his family have really made an effort to call to check in frequently and to come to assist when we need help on a project. My sister is my best friend and is just a phone call away. I am so appreciative of all of her efforts and sacrifice on my behalf and I am grateful for all of her day-trips up to Layton so that she could spend extra time with me and the boys. My brother Paul has been so kind and thoughtful. I can't even count how many times he has come over to check up on me with a fun balloon and Ben and Jerry's in hand. I will always cherish the time that Rick and Page spent with us as they returned to the states from Cambodia right after my diagnosis. I look forward to their calls and emails.

I am so grateful and amazed at the love shown to our family by our friends, both near and far, and ward family. Throughout this past year there have always been willing hands to bring us meals and take care of the boys. I'm especially grateful to Sue and Kim for not only taking care of my boys, but also loving them. We have also been blessed with countless meals, treats, flowers, cards, phone calls, emails, and most importantly prayers in our behalf.

The week of my 1st Cancerversary was really difficult. I began consistently crying myself to sleep at night. Then one day Bruce asked me that if he would have told me when I got diagnosed that I'd have a clean PET scan a year later, how would I feel? That put things in back into perspective and my gratitude surged.

In deed this has been a long, but blessed year. I know without the healing hand of God and the love and support of our family and friends, this year would have been unbearable. But instead, our family is happy and the PET scan even says we are healthy :)!

Thanks and much love to you all. We appreciate each of you as we continue to fight this fight. Here's to many more cancerveraries!!!

love, Jeanel

My Brother

2009-06-21T12:01:00.000-06:00

Rick is currently in Officer Training Camp for the Army as part of a military repayment program for medical school. I am so proud of him. He is a wonderful husband, brother, son and patriot. I love you and God bless!!

Wisconsin Vacation

2009-06-21T10:49:00.001-06:00

We had the most wonderful family vacation last week!! We flew to Wisconsin on a non-stop flight (major bonus) and spent 7 days seeing the sights and spending time as a family. It was great to be able to show Bruce and the boys were I grew up and also spend time with family and friends. I am so grateful for the energy I enjoyed while on vacation and for the memories we made. It was truly a dream trip for us! Here are some photos from our trip.

Xander and Ryker fighting over who gets to drive
Landon dreaming of freedom in the distant future.
The Scully Family
The boys and the scary bear at the resort.
Landon playing in the water. (Hopefully his last time with a life vest.)
Xander is a fish!
Ryker took a while to warm up.
My boys in the wave pool.
Getting ready for our first day in the water park. Ryker didn't understand the need for a swimming suit.
Bruce and I were able to attend my friend Jason's beautiful wedding and meet his wonderful wife, Paula.
The family outside Miller Park before the Brewer's game.
Landon loved the game!!
Jerry and I at the park.
We had a great time at the Milwaukee County Zoo!
We went with Katrina and kids.
It was great to spend the day with Katrina catching up.
We found a quiet beach on Lake Michigan. The only challenge was getting there...
Bruce and I had a great time watching the boys play on the beach.
Landon and Xander collected shells and Ryker collected rocks.
The boys resting on a bench after climbing half-way up the 8 flights of stairs. It was well worth the climb!

To B or To C

2009-06-07T21:48:00.000-06:00

The day has finally arrived...
I decided the cup was full at B.
It has been liberating not to have to wear a bra for 9 months, but at least I can still put them in the closet!

PET Scan Results

2009-05-31T21:33:00.000-06:00

Before heading out to North Carolina I had my 3rd PET Scan. Needless to say, I was worried about the test results and didn't want them to ruin my trip, but I couldn't resist knowing. The reading was not in before I left Salt Lake, so I checked in with Bruce during my layover in Detroit.
Great news! There is NO evidence of disease. However, there is an area of inflammation on my chest wall, which may be problematic, but at this point we don't have any reason to believe that is due to something other than the high dose of radiation I received.
I am cautiously optimistic and very grateful! I am looking forward to a wonderful summer with my family. I will have my tumor markers checked every month and will have another PET scan in 3-4 months.
My heart is so grateful, but at the same time I am very afraid to hope too much. Please keep praying for me and my family. I know it is because of the faith of those around me that I have been blessed with so many miracles. Thank you!
love, Jeanel

A Visit to North Carolina

2009-05-31T20:31:00.000-06:00

Last week Suzette and I went to North Carolina to visit our brother and his family. Rick has just completed his first year of medical school at Wake Forest and he and his wife have just added a new bundle of joy to their family. We had a great time!! Everett is an an incredibly sweet and very cute baby! We also really enjoyed playing with their 18 month old, Carson. He is a whiz kid and already knows his colors and letters.
We enjoyed our time in Winston-Salem and were able to visit Old Salem, a shopping village, and an antique mall. We also enjoyed some late night games of cards and speed scrabble.

Suzette and I also road tripped to Wrightsville Beach and Wilmington for a little sister time. We had a great time at the beach (I was the only one with an umbrella because the chemo intensifies the sun) and enjoyed a long walk while finding shells for the boys. We also found an antique furniture store with already refurbished furniture and amazing shipping rates. Suzette scored some great finds and I chickened out....
A special thanks to RIck and Page for being such wonderful hosts and to my parents for watching the boys so that Suzette and I could get away!!

Happy 4th Birthday Xander

2009-05-31T20:05:00.000-06:00

We recently celebrated Xander's 4th birthday with a small family party and a homemade Lego Star Wars cake. I can't believe how big Xander has gotten. It has been so fun watching him grow over the past year. He is has a happy, fun loving spirit and is a very sweet little boy! He gives big hugs and juicy kisses... He loves to ride his bike and scooter, play outside with his brothers, do puzzles, and sing/talk himself to sleep at night. This year he has come up with every excuse for coming out of his room at bedtime and has mastered his colors, letters, numbers. He also loves to sing The FIfty Nifty United States song (I just wish I could get it out of my head!) I am so grateful to be his mom! I l love you Xander!

My Sister, My Best Friend

2009-05-20T02:49:00.000-06:00

The Race for the Cure
The First Thank Your Project. I'm sad I don't have pictures of the cookies!

I want you all to know that I have the best sister in the whole world! She is beautiful, talented, creative, funny, kind, thoughtful, faithful, hardworking, friendly, outgoing, and has a real knack for being of down-to-earth, yet sophisticated. She is my best friend and confidant. Time and time again, she serves me and those around her with love and selflessness.
Last week I called her for ideas to make 'thank you gifts' for my friends and family that live close by and have been taking care of us. We made plans to get together this past weekend to put something together. When I got to her house she had already baked 288 gourmet cookies by herself and she was ready to work on assembling the gifts. (For those who don't know, she has 6 kids at home, 5 of whom are in sports, dance, and piano!) I am constantly amazed at the amount of work she fits into her day. She is always on the go, ready to serve. She somehow not only survives, but thrives on less than 5 hours of sleep. (We do not share that gene!)
My sister has always been amazing. For some reason she has always found it in her job description to take care of me. When I was little, she would drag me out of my crib and put me in her bed at night. While our mom was in the work force, Suzette made dinner for our family at a very young age. She was always the peace maker in our family, so she was a great person to find if one of my brothers felt like pummeling me. When I got older (and she wasn't busy with boys), she made herself available to give high school counsel to her middle school sister, which continued while she was in college and I had moved on to high school.
One my funniest memories was when I was trying to decide whether to get married or to go on an LDS mission for 18-months. She was going to help me with wedding plans or with making some jumpers for the hot weather in the Dominican Republic. She helped me with her classic whit when she said something to the effect of, "I don't know what the answer is, but you better go up to your room and don't come down until you've figured it out. Either way, we've got work to do."
One of my most memorable times with my sister was when she left her 6 kids (and was pregnant with #7) in Utah and came to Kansas to help me drive back home to Wisconsin when I was going through my divorce.
In addition to being a rock in daily life and life's tough spots, she has always been my model for all things social, fashionable, beautiful, and tasty. For those who know me, you know that those are not my strong points, but she loves me anyway.
I love my sister very much. She is one of my life's most treasured blessings. She loves me for who I am, she is on my side, and she is cheering for me every day. Last year she ran the St. George Marathon. When she got home she told me that she ran the marathon one mile at a time and gave me her medal to help me fight my cancer one day at a time.
Suzette, I love you with all my heart! God gave me the perfect flower to help me run this race. And we will win the race. We live, laugh, cry, learn, love, and grow together. Whether I live or not, I will survive because of you. Thanks for being my sister and my best friend!
Love, Your Lil Sister

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T21:49:00.000-06:00

Today was a beautiful day full of sunshine, love, laughter, and family. Bruce and the boys made breakfast in bed for Grandma (she got out of bed too early) and me. It is a tradition we all love. The boys love playing waiter and I enjoy hanging out in bed a little while longer. We had a nice time at church and then went to my brother, Paul's house for dinner and play time.
On the way home from Paul's house, Bruce asked me what my favorite part of the day was and oddly enough, the cards from Bruce and the boys were on the top of the list.
The card I got from the boys featured a bunch of kids yelling, "Mom", "Ma", "Mother", etc. over and over and then, "Happy Mother's Day!"-- very appropriate.
This is what Bruce's card said: "Once there was this guy. A nice guy really. And he met this girl. An incredible girl. So naturally this guy falls head over heels in love with her, and much to his surprise, she feels the same way, too. But that's just the beginning of the story... A few years pass and the guy and the girl have built a pretty good life together. They're a family with all the usual stuff thrown in. One day, between all the to-do's and have-to's, the guy stops and looks at his wife and he thinks- WOW. How did life get so good? And then he looks back at his wife and there's the answer... He met, fell in love with, and married the perfect girl. (What a lucky, lucky guy.) Happy Mother's Day!
It was a great day and I love all of my boys!

The Race for the Cure

2009-05-10T20:47:00.000-06:00

A couple of weeks ago Brooke mentioned that some friends from work were planning on participating in the Race for the Cure in SLC and were wondering if I felt up to joining them. I was a little hesitant because I would be just one week out from chemo and probably wouldn't have the energy to walk 5K. I was assured that a wheelchair would be available if needed, so I happily accepted the invitation.

I then asked my family, including Sue, to join the festivities.

The race was a huge success, with an estimated 18,000 to 20,000 in attendance. The energy and spirit were incredible. It was great to feel the unity and power of so many people fighting the fight. Stories were told through signs, shirts, banners and cheers. It was a life-changing day and I am grateful to have been able to share it with family and friends.

Rick and Page Race for the Cure

2009-05-07T21:38:00.000-06:00

My brother, Rick, and his wife, Page, participated in the Race for the Cure in North Carolina last week. Thanks to both of you for racing your hearts out and for supporting me in this fight!

And here is a picture of their baby, Everett. He is so cute!!! Suzette and I are going to meet him at the end of the month.

Done with Chemo Forever?!

2009-05-03T18:25:00.001-06:00

How nice would it be to never have to have chemo again?! It is hard to let myself go down that road because of the heartache that accompanies disappointment, but... When I think about life without chemo, suddenly I have so much more time in my week and so much more energy to live. I think of nice long walks, playing outside with the boys, going to the gym, working, mowing the lawn, having the strength to actually 'scrub' when I clean, going up and down the stairs without a second thought -- basically having energy to do whatever I want to without having to take a break or having to prioritize my activities. I also think about having my hair back and wonder if my skin will ever be back to normal. I wonder how I ever took my health for granted. I think about the future. I think about my boys in school, graduating, getting married. I think about family vacations, missions, and grandkids... Life without chemo- what a wonderful thought!
Today I am taking it easy. On Friday I had my 20th chemo treatment and I do best if I do nothing at all for 3 or 4 days. Remarkably, I have kept most of my hair during this last round of treatments. It has thinned as the weeks have gone by and now it threatens to fall out with every turn of my head. I have been incredibly blessed with energy and minimal nausea. I have kept my finger nails, my hands don't itch, and I have my parents helping me this week while Bruce is at a medical conference. Even with chemo, I've got it good!
Thanks for your love, support, and continued prayers!
Jeanel

Picture Perfect Day?

2009-05-03T17:50:00.001-06:00

Ryker turned 2 in January. It is now May. This week Brooke and I took the boys to Temple Square in an attempt to capture a picture that would be '2-year-old-portrait-worthy'. That was a high stress day for me because I was trying to get things done around the house before my last chemo treatment. When I came downstairs, after sorting through the boys' winter clothes, I found Xander with a butterfly stamp in his hand that he stamped all over his arms and face, as well as Ryker's face. As the boys can probably tell you, I was not happy and I didn't have time to get myself ready... Anyway, after the scrub down, the 30 minute drive, and the military march to the photo shoot (to avoid any wrinkles or dirt) we made it to the chosen spot. Landon decide he couldn't remember how to smile, Xander chose not to smile, and Ryker either looked like he was in pain or didn't want to pay attention. Some how Brooke managed to get some good shots and hopefully I won't burn in 'bad-mommy-dum'.
On a more positive and less stressful note, this week I was able to go to Women's Conference at BYU with my sister and mom. We had a great time. The speakers were great and focused on being able to do all things with the strength of the Lord. It was nice to be back on campus and see how things have changed over the passed 13 years.

Time Spent

2009-04-19T08:12:00.000-06:00

It seems like the hours of the day just fly by. While looking at the state of things in my house, I thought of some of the ways I spent my time this week in an attempt to justify.
First of all, Monday was still a sick day and I didn't really have energy to do much until Tuesday/Wednesday.
1 hour on the phone with our new mortgage lender because they told us to send our payment to the wrong place-- resulting in waving of the $91 late fee.
1 hour lesson at the Apple Store learning to use iPhoto on my MacBook.
1 hour at the fabric store picking out the perfect material for a tote (see 5.5 hours below). I had a really hard time deciding on a fabric and I kept knocking down the bolts of material that surrounded the tables, so I was late picking up Xander from pre-school. Thanks to Janene for grabbing him.
1 hour at Landon's soccer game. They actually scored a goal! I need to get a megaphone because I have to cough every time I yell.
2 hours spent planning summer activities for the boy- soccer, baseball, swimming lessons, Arts-in-the Park, tennis lessons, Lagoon...
2 hours at Lagoon on Saturday. It was a beautiful day! There were no crowds and the boys were able to walk on all of the rides without a wait. Xander's favorite is The Bat, Landon's favorite is Wicked, and Ryker giggles and giggles on Lady Bug Drop.
3 hours spent making and decorating cakes that in the end weren't all that great. (Next time Michelle!)
4 hours spent on the computer researching breast cancer vaccines. This is going to be my next attempt at fighting my breast cancer. The vaccines are still experimental, aren't all that effective, and the side effects are still unknown, but anything to boost my chances at surviving...
5 hours on the phone with Direct TV over the last couple of weeks. We had the installation man come 4 times (4 hour blocks each time) before our upgrade to HD was complete-- resulting in 2 free HD DVRs.
5.5 hours spent making the most spectacular tote bag. Thank you Tonya. I am really enjoying becoming more crafty.

5.6 hours hanging out at Kim's...
6 hours on the computer researching and planning trips. Suzette and I are going to go to NC to visit my brother, RIck and his family in May. They just had a baby 2 weeks ago and we are going to meet the newest member of the family. Then, in June we will be going to Wisconsin for family vacation. I haven't been back in years and I want Bruce and the boys to see my hometown. I am also planning a 5th anniversary get away in July. Also, Bruce and I are planning a trip to Peru in the fall. Bruce served his LDS mission there and has been back several times on medical missions. He is excited to be the tour guide. I'm hope my sister and her husband will be joining us on this adventure. (No pressure!) Living with cancer just makes me want to take advantage of every day. There are so many things I want to do and experience in this life that require physical abilities and energy, so we are going to take advantage of my break from chemo and live it up this summer.
7 hours keeping Landon in his room. On Friday he came home from school at noon because of a cough and having the chills. The office lady informed me that his temperature was 97.8. In the car on the way home he asked me what the chills were and said, "Listen, I think my cough is gone." Needless to say, he was not sick, but at our house, if you come home sick you are in your room for the rest of the day with just books to read. I don't think he'll try pulling that again any time soon.
And my favorite... Last minute mailing of our state taxes on 15 April because we owed money this year. I found the check that was suppose to be in the envelope on the floor of the mini van 3 days later. I wonder how much that is going to cost!
A promise to our house: You will get some attention this week.

Easter Egg FUN!!

2009-04-12T19:08:00.000-06:00

Ryker's #2

2009-04-11T18:32:00.000-06:00

This afternoon I was taking a nap and heard one of the bedroom doors open and then the bathroom door close. I thought it was Xander. About 10 minutes later I hear, "Mommy I have pooh-pooh." I walk down to the bathroom and there stands Ryker. He has nothing on the bottom and just one arm in the top and was trying to clean up his mess.
Ryker has recently decided that he is not into clothing. The other day he came down from his nap with nothing on but his Crocs. He came skipping across the kitchen floor saying, "Look Mom!"
This morning he woke up Bruce saying, "I'm gonna take off my diaper. It's gonna be cold. I'm gonna have a chill."
Thanks Daddy for cleaning up my mess and getting me fresh!

Spring Fun (11 April 09)

2009-04-07T17:03:00.000-06:00

Sorry it has been a while since I last posted. I was trying to get a blog done prior to chemo this past Wednesday, but obviously that didn't happen.
On Sunday I took the boys down to my sister, Suzette's house. We always have really nice time. Landon and Wilson played hoops (indoors and outdoors) most of the time and Sadie and Alison took care of Xander and Ryker. It really is a break for me, except my kids just won't sleep in...
On Monday we went to the Bean Museum (too many dead animals for my taste) and took the boys bowling and then out for pizza. Of course I forgot my camera, but got a few photos on my cell phone. We also colored Easter Eggs. Landon and Sadie made cute pink eggs with the breast cancer awareness logo. (I'll post the photos when I figure out how to get them from my email.)
Chemo was on Wednesday... Oh, how I pray this is all worth it! My hair started falling out in copious amounts today (Saturday). Obviously, I expected it, but it still is sad to see it go. My tumor markers in my blood are up, which worries me, but the doctor says that it might just be from my chemo... I'll keep you posted.
Thursday night my parents arrived safely after braving some stormy weather in route from Tennessee. Bruce and Landon were able to help them with some unloading. On Friday night they stopped over to celebrate my dad passing his test! He has studied so hard and can finally get a medical license in UT. I'm so proud of him!!

On Saturday we went to church and had a fun time watching the boys find Easter eggs. Ryker was thrilled by the hunt. Xander was puzzled because all of his eggs had the same kind of candy (at least it was M&Ms). And Landon got quite the haul.
Today was also exciting because the quilt that I have been working on for months is finally finished. My friend, Michelle, has cheerfully helped me make a play mat for the boys. It is a mini-version of our town, complete with: our house, the library, a school, the grocery store, Daddy's office, the church, and an airplane. Making the quilt has been a new adventure for me. I really enjoyed the creative process and learning all that Michelle has taught me along the way. A very heart-felt thank you to Michelle for helping me create something for my boys!
I am so excited for Easter. Spring is a great time of year and I love 'the reason for the season'. It is because of Jesus' atonement and resurrection, that no matter what my outcome is, I have reason to celebrate and be happy. Please keep praying for me. I know that medicine alone can not heal me, but that if it is the Lord's will, I can have my miracle.
Love, Jeanel

March Madness

2009-03-29T20:00:00.000-06:00

Sunday morning with the boys... They were running around making guns and space ships out of anything they could find. Boys... We have been amazed at how well they have been playing together. Ryker doesn't miss a beat. He is talking in full sentences and doesn't take grief from anyone.
Landon wants to grow up and be just like his dad. He had his first Pine Wood Derby for cub scouts this week. He took 1st, 3rd, and 4th in the various heats. I was just glad the car made it down the track!

This week went better than anticipated. It started off with a weak-positive influenza test, but it appears that the prophylactic medicine I've been taking may have actually worked. Other than being tired and fighting off a cold, I've done really well. The boys and I spent a lot of time with Kim and her boys this week. We partied at Chuck E Cheese and I tried my hand at making one of Kim's awesome cakes.
Thanks to everyone for the great food and well wishes! God bless!!
Jeanel

2 Down 2 To Go

2009-03-22T23:32:00.000-06:00

On Wednesday I went in for my second of 4 treatments. To my surprise I was able to talk the doctor into adding another chemo agent to the current regime. I was there from 9:30 to 3:30 getting taxotere, cytoxin (the new chemo agent), herceptin, and zometa. I was expecting the deep bone aches and head aches that I got the last time around, but for the most part I have been just feeling like crap and tired. The days are long and noise really bugs, so I headed to my parents' house for some quiet time on Saturday- which was really helpful. Bruce has influenza, so needless to say, the kids have been a little under-supervised this weekend. I hope to find to house still standing in the morning... Here is to a couple of more sick days and then a couple of good weeks!!! Jeanel

Thyroid Ultra Sound

2009-03-15T10:36:00.001-06:00

It seems crazy to blog every week when I don't have anything going on, but I sure enjoy the uneventful week. This week included house work, taking care of the boys and a sick husband, car pool, making the boys' quilt, going to tiger scouts,taking my first MacBook lesson, watching 3 cousins for the weekend, and continuing the fight to get our basement completed.
I guess I did have one test done this week- not such great news. I had a thyroid U/S on Monday and it found a remaining suspicious node. It seems a little unusual because as far as I know, I only had one remaining node after my surgery. I had great levels to help the radioactive iodine be as effective as it can be, so I'm not sure what the problem is. It doesn't seem like I got my money's worth, especially $11k. I will have another ultra sound in 2-3 months and go from there.
Spring is in the air and I can't wait to start getting out of the house more. Enjoy this time of year!!!
Love, Jeanel

1 Week Later

2009-03-07T10:24:00.001-07:00

It is amazing what a week will do. I began feeling better on Tuesday and had a full day on Wednesday. It is a lot easier to be optimistic when I feel well, than when I am sick. I didn't think that this round of chemo was going to knock me down, but because it does I think I'm going to ask the doctor if he will give me another chemo agent with what I am already getting. If I'm going to be sick, he might as well make it worth my while.
This was an exciting week. I had a really nice visit with my friend and she brought me a beautifully knitted wrap that her mother-in-law made for me. I also attempted making a fish fry. To most people this is no big deal, but having grown up in Wisconsin, enjoying an amazing fish fry is a weekly ritual celebrated every Friday (thanks to all my Catholic friends!). Things did not turn out as hoped, but it was a start and will hopefully get better. I also bought a couple of things I have wanted for the past year. I bought a Vitamix blender with my dad-- I can't wait to try out the recipes. I also bought a MacBook. Bruce is so glad that he no longer has to share his computer... I look forward to taking classes down at the Apple store!
I saw the headline, "Living with Cancer". It has really stuck with me and helped me appreciate that truly living and making the most out of every day is a daily goal. While growing up my mom taught me that each day is a new day and I need to make the most out of it. I hope you do too. Love to you all! Jeanel

Chemo Resumes

2009-03-02T14:47:00.001-07:00

At age 37 and 1 day I started chemo again. I try to think of it as a blessing. I didn't really start feeling the side effects until 36-48 hours after the treatment. I've been tired and nauseated and had a pretty bad headache, as well as bone pain. I'm glad I've already experienced the worst chemo there is because it makes me appreciate that I haven't been feeling that bad. I've been in bed since Saturday, but made it out of bed around 11am on Monday. I had Bruce flip the mattress over because the perma-dent was hurting my back. Hopefully I am on the upswing and can enjoy the next couple of weeks before having another treatment. I figured out that 29 April is my last treatment-- so that is my next goal. Thanks for all of your continued prayers in behalf of my family! The battle continues....
Jeanel

Fabulous February

2009-02-24T20:06:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Presidents' Day with a doughnut and candle...

The boys had a great time playing in the snow and survived Dad's trophy sledding hill in the front yard.

This has been a really enjoyable couple of weeks. I have started to feel a lot better because of the nice long break from chemo. I've had more energy and have been able to take care of the boys on my own. I even went out and snow blowed our 13 inches of snow. It was nice to get out and enjoy the fresh air, but I think the best part was that for those couple of hours I wasn't "sick". What a great feeling!!

We had a great time getting away to the Stanley Family time share in East Canyon. The boys loved exploring the condo, playing with their new legos (thanks Janell!), sledding and having Mommy and Daddy time.

Today has been a very happy birthday. I had a great time at lunch with some friends, we had dinner brought in by some other friends, this evening I had a nice visit with 2 of my favorite people, and Bruce bought my favorite pie to celebrate #37.

I have been blessed and I am so grateful for all that I enjoy on a daily basis. I know how important it is to focus on the positive. It is amazing how quickly my attitude changes and my day becomes brighter when I count my blessings. Thank you for your friendship and support.

Tomorrow I start chemo again. It is hard to even say, but I know that is what I need to do to feel like I am fighting as hard as I can. I pray that God will make up the difference and that I will be blessed to have many more happy birthdays!

Love to you all! Jeanel

Bruce Turns 38

2009-02-15T17:23:00.000-07:00

This was a really nice week. On Monday Bruce turned 38. We celebrated with some cards and banana pie. We were hoping that the basement would be done in time for his b-day, but it still needs some touch up work. We've learned a ton about building and we are grateful to have learned these lessons while finishing our basement, not building a house.

My friends have made me a couple of hats. It has been nice to have a little variety. Thanks Karen and Megan!
Love to you all! Jeanel

Hair Cuts

2009-02-08T10:37:00.000-07:00

After 6 days at my parent's house I was able to come home on Sunday night. While I was gone, Bruce took the boys in for their summer hair cuts. A couple of more weeks and I might be caught up with the boys. They all commented on how much my hair had grown since they last saw me. It has been nice being back at home with the boys. It is taking a while to get my energy back. The endocrinologist said it would be another week or so before I am feeling better.
On Monday I had my scan to find out where the thyroid cancer had spread. It is a cool procedure because the radioactive treatment not only treats the cancer but is also able to detect if the cancer has spread anywhere else in the body. We found out that I had one positive lymph node in my neck that had some residual thyroid cancer. Hopefully the radioactive iodine will do its job and take care of the cancer. I will have an ultra sound of my neck in the next couple of weeks and then a follow up scan in a few months, which will let us know if the radioactive treatment worked.
I went back to the oncologist this week. He said my white, red, gran., and platelet counts are too low to start my next round of chemo. I will have to wait 3 more weeks, but hopefully at that time I'll be ready to rock and roll. Crazy thing, but I am disappointed that I couldn't start chemo again this week. Hopefully, when I do get started, I will be strong enough to get through all the treatments without taking a break.
Have a great week and a Happy Valentine's Day!
Jeanel

Radioactive

2009-02-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

Yeah! Another thing to check off my list of things to do...
On Monday I had my radioactive iodine treatment in an attempt to kill any thyroid cells that may have remained throughout my body. It was no big deal and I have not suffered any side effects to this point. After finding out that I am indeed NOT pregnant (we weren't worried, but the medical community needed to be certain...) , and after consulting with the radiologist, I was led to the back of the nuclear medicine department where a tiny little vial of clear liquid awaited me underneath a protective awning. I sipped the I-131 through a straw, added some more water to the vial a couple of times to make sure I got it all and walked out. That was it.
Such activity has caused me to be isolated for the remainder of the week. Megan Eborn braved the radioactivity as she took me to the hospital and then to the hotel. I spent the first night at a hotel because the during the first 24 hours after the treatment, 80% of the radioactivity is emitted. The rest of the week I have spent at my parent's so that the boys would not be exposed.
I can't remember the last time I have had so much peace and quiet! It has been very refreshing and much needed. I was very run down after not having any thyroid replacement medication (which gives you energy and metabolism) for three weeks and not being able to eat a normal diet.
Speaking of which, Thursday was a blessed day because I began taking my thyroid medication and was able to eat! Bruce took me out to dinner so that we could celebrate. Our booth was very large, which was good because I still needed to be 5-7 feet away from people to avoid exposing them to my radioactivity. None the less it was a very pleasant dinner and the food was great!
Although I have been away from home and the boys I have been able to catch up on some much needed rest. The boys have done remarkably well and I have been able to appreciate the difference in their 'phone personalities'. Landon loves to talk about his day and update me on his progress on his DS (it sure sounds like he is playing more than his allotted 30 minutes...), Xander is Mr. One-Word-Answer, and Ryker is so excited and gets his point across quite well. I am grateful that I will be able to return home tonight and greet all 4 of my boys with a big hug in the morning.
It has been a good week and I have been able to take advantage of this time to reflect on life, my attitude, my goals, and my relationship with my Savior, my family, and my friends. I know how important it is to live in the moment and to be happy today. Love and prayer are powerful. Thanks for both! Jeanel

Ryker Turns 2

2009-01-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

On Saturday Ryker turned 2. He is such a fun kid! We had a great time celebrating with cake and ice cream. I made him a Dora backpack cake in an attempt to masculanize the Dora theme. I love Ryker! I love the way he blinks his eyes when I tell him he has pretty eyes, I love the way he shows us his dimple, I love the way he sings songs and gallops from place to place, I love the way he gets nose to nose and says , 'I love you Mommacita', I love the way he goes toe to toe with his big brothers. His favorite things are Dora, riding on his turtle, loving his blanket and his big boy bed, building blocks, climbing and singing songs. He is sweet and full of energy. I am so glad that he is part of our family.
It is official. On Monday the 26th of January, I will drink $10,000 worth of radioactive iodine. I'm planning on staying at a hotel for the first 24 hours because that is when 90% of the radiation is given off. I will then spend the rest of the week at my parent's so as to not be around the boys. It will be tough to be away, but I hope to be productive and get some serious scrap booking done. Wednesday or Thursday (yet to be determined) will be a welcomed day because I will then be able to return to a normal diet. I have yet to decide what my first forbidden food will be, but I will have plenty of time to think about it.
On Friday I went up to Perry, UT to visit my friend Amber, who is also suffering for Inflammatory Breast Cancer. We had a nice visit and I look forward to seeing her again soon. You can check out her website at amberchase.weebly.com. She is an amazing person and her blog is very inspiring.
Hopefully this week I can win the battle against thyroid cancer so that I can get back to fighting IBC. Please keep praying as the battle continues. I have continued to be blessed with strength because of all the prayers in my behalf. The Lord has walked with me and helped me carry this burden. There is peace in reading the scriptures. I am eternally grateful for His loving arms and for your support and prayers! love, Jeanel

Iodine Free

2009-01-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

This week a lot of my time has been consumed with thinking about what I can and cannot eat based on its iodine content. Basically anything processed has some amount of iodine in it. I can eat fruits, vegtables and carefully prepared homemade things that usually require an extra trip to the grocery store. I've done pretty well except for sneaking a bite of Xander's cookie and brushing the salt off a pretzel bite at the mall. I've made it 9 days without any chocolate...
The ultimate goal of all of this is to starve the thyroid cells throughout my body (which are the only cells that uptake iodine), so that when I get the radioactive iodine treatment it will act like smart bombs and kill the thyroid cancer. The other part of this is not taking my thyroid replacement meds. This gradually zaps my strength and energy and slows my mental processing. I read today that this process lasts any where from 5 days to 1 month.
On Wednesday I had my infusion, which consisted of a triple dose of Herceptin and a dose of the bone strengthener, Zomeda. It took over 2 hours.
I also went to the Huntsman Cancer Institute this week for a second opinion regarding my next round of chemotherapy which will begin a couple of weeks after the radioactive treatment. I need to wait until the new thyroid medicine kicks in and starts up my metabolism again so that the chemo is metabolize and so that I will have the strength to handle it. The doctors aren't really encouraging further chemo at this time, but I really feel like that is what I need to do. I don't know if I will ever feel like enough is enough, but after this next round they won't give me anything else until more cancer is evident.
I was blessed to talk to a friend this week about her experience when her husband passed away from cancer a couple of years ago. It was a sweet conversation that brought a new level of understanding.
I hope all is well and your life is full!
love, Jeanel

Progress Note

2009-01-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was a marathon day. I met with the radiation oncologist, finished the last of my 44 radiation treatments, met with the endocrinologist to discuss my thyroid radioactive ablation and my 3-week iodine free diet. I also met with my oncologist to discuss my next chemotherapy drug and receive my weekly infusion. Good thing my dad was with me!
My skin is red, toasty, and crusty. I am 2 days into my special diet and I crave everything that I am not suppose to eat. Go figure. Bruce is working hard to help me stick to the menu by making homemade bread, spaghetti sauce, and no-bake cookies. Tonight he said that he feels like a 1950's house wife. I got a good one!!
On Thursday Bruce and I were able to go out with an incredible couple who are also dealing with inflammatory breast cancer. We truly enjoyed their company and share a similar heartache.
On Saturday my sister and niece (Sadie) came up to see us. Sadie's 5th grade class raised $500 and donated it to a family in our neighborhood with new quadruplets.
Our Christmas cards are still on my to-do list. Sorry! Hope the new year is treating you all well.
Love, Jeanel

Happy New Year!

2009-01-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it is 2009. I hope this year is less eventful than 2008!! We brought in the new year at Suzette's. As always, the kids had fun playing with cousins and I enjoyed the time off. We made it until 11:00, popped some poppers and called it a year. I need to find out the secret to teaching the kids to sleep in!
This week's infusion went better than the last two. The doctor gave me some different anti-nausea meds which worked really well. My skin is getting extra-crispy from the radiation and has started to blister in some spots and look pretty leathery/beef jerky-lie in others. I should be done on Weds, but I might go for 2 extra treatments because of the breaks during the holiday season.
School is back in session and getting back into a routine is welcomed. We enjoyed the family play time, snow, and good eats that only this time of year can bring.
May we all enjoy peace and happiness this year!
Love, Jeanel

Merry Christmas

2008-12-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

We had a very Merry Christmas!! Our boys are at such great ages-- the magic of Christmas is contagious. Although we struggled to make it through the 7 minute Nativity video, we enjoyed assembling our nativity advent calendar during the month of December.
Christmas Eve included a 2am wake up from Landon because he was sooo thirsty. At 2:15am he was sooo hungry that Bruce went downstairs to make him a cheese sandwich. At 8am Ryker had to wake Landon up because he was so tired from his late-night escapades.
Landon was so thrilled with his gifts that he thanked Santa repeatedly over the next few days. Xander has put together his puzzles so many times that he wants to race Landon. Ryker loves to play with every one's presents. The boys have done a great job playing together and sharing.
Bruce and I have really loved spending quality family time together during this wonderful time of year. We are so grateful for this opportunity to celebrate the birth of our Savior and feel of the love it brings to us this time of year!
Love to you all! Jeanel

Gearing Up for Christmas

2008-12-14T16:37:00.000-07:00

As far as weeks go, this week has been quite uneventful. I continued with radiation treatments Monday through Thursday without difficulty. Friday the radiation department was shut down for computer upgrades, which was disappointing because I'll be missing some treatments during the holidays. Hopefully it will all work out in the long run.
We are busy getting ready for Christmas. Bruce and I were able to enjoy a night out together and attend his work Christmas party. The boys enjoy taking turns putting a new character on the Advent calander each night. Landon is so excited to be working on his homemade Christmas presents for his cousins. He also wants to have Santa's phone number so he can make sure he is on the good list. Xander gets out of bed every night and asks, "Is tonight a Santa night?" Ryker loves Christmas music and Christams lights! He also has a hard time keeping his paws off the ornaments. We are so grateful for the snow because it adds so much to the season. Bruce has begun creating his annual sledding mound in the front yard.
We hope that you all are enjoying this blessed time of year. We have received many Christmas cards from family and friends and look forward to hearing from all of you.
love, Jeanel

My Beautiful Boys!!

2008-12-06T19:06:00.001-07:00

We had pictures of the boys taken today for our Christmas card. The boys did such an awesome job! Here are just a few!

Let There Be Light (Radiation)

2008-12-06T15:23:00.001-07:00

Chemo is done!! and I am feeling better-- tired, but a lot better!
This week was a busy week. On Monday there was bed rest. Tuesday I had my PET scan. Wednesday another echocardiogram and fitting for radiation. Thursday I began with 7am radiation, 8am occupational therapy, 9am physical therapy, and 2pm radiation. Friday I continued the two times/day radition. No wonder I am tired...
I am so happy to let you all know that my PET scan and echocardiogram look great. I am doing the best that could be hoped/prayed for!
Radiation is very tolerable so far. All I have to do is lay there for about fifteen minutes (while everyone else is on the other side of 2 feet of concrete and a 2 ton door-- Not very comforting).
Bruce delivered his last baby on Thursday(he is giving up OB because it is doesn't fit our life right now)just in time to come to my radiation appointment. This weekend he is in Houston at the First International Inflammatory Breast Cancer Conference. I hope he comes back with lots of great info.
On Friday night the boys enjoyed a sleepover at Brooke and Sherman's while I enjoyed some quiet, non-sick time at home. Thank guys!!
I am so grateful for all of your thoughts and prayers! Enjoy the Christmas season!
Love, Jeanel

Thanksgiving 2008

2008-11-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful time of year. I am so grateful that I have this time to reflect upon all of my blessings and to enjoy some extra time with my family.
I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am grateful for His eternal sacrifice that not only cleanses me of my sins and short comings, but also comforts me through my trials. I am grateful for prayer and for the scriptures. I know that my Heavenly Father knows what I need and loves me. There is no greater peace than knowing this.
I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to be married to my true love. He is my rock and my helper and he is a wonderful daddy. He makes me laugh and helps me see the good in our lives. He is my best friend.
I am so grateful for my Landy. He is so smart, loving, and thoughtful. He makes me beautiful pictures and writes me inspiring words. He is trying so hard to be a good big brother and helper. I love his hugs and his smiles. He likes to call me "Mamacita"...
I am so grateful for Xander (aka "Cha-chi). He is my jumper. He is the first one to give me a juicy kissy. He snuggles for just a minute and likes to pet my arm. He is a good little boy and I love it when he decides to play nicely with his brothers.
My little Ryker is a joy. He is funny, loving, and full of energy. His sense of humor is amazing for his age. He loves to say, "hello" to everyone. He calls himself 'Bruce' and says, "I am trouble." He will snuggle for a short moment when I beg. He comes running from anywhere in the house yelling, "I want some", when he hears someone working in the kitchen. He loves just being one of the big boys.
I am grateful for my mom. She has come into our home to love and to serve. Day in and day out, she is here helping the boys and me. How blessed we are to have her! I love you mom. I am grateful for my dad and know that even when he can't be here, he wishes he could be. I am grateful for all of his help in searching for the best medical care available and for providing strength and comfort through it all.
I am grateful for my brother, Jeff. I appreciate his telephone calls to just check on me and his desire to be my protector. I am grateful for him and his family and the loving attention they give to our boys during their sleep overs.
I am grateful for my sister, Suzette. God was truly watching over me when He blessed me with my best friend as my sister. Am so grateful for the deep understanding and friendship that we share. She makes me laugh and cry. She inspires me to be more through her kind and generous example. I am grateful for her husband, Greg, who is always there to lend a listening ear and make me laugh.
I am grateful for my brother, Paul. He is so thoughtful! Ever week he comes over with an awesome home cooked meal, a balloon, and some Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I am grateful for his phone calls and his visits. He has a wonderful heart and is such an example. I am grateful for his wife, Amy. She is so kind and always has a hug and smile.
I am grateful for my brother, Rick. I know that though he is far away (in medical school in NC), he is close in thought and in spirit. I am so grateful that he and his wife, Page, were able to be here for a week in July and help us when everything was so new and tender. It is a time that will never be forgotten.
I am grateful for all of my nieces and nephews. They were my babies (and still are) before I had my own. I am grateful for their sweet encouragement,love, faith, and prayers.
I am grateful for my sister-in-law Brooke who spear-headed this fight with my family and friends and contiues to support me and cheer me on.
I am grateful for Susan. She loves my boys inspite of themselves and is always here to help with a cheerful disposition and faith in her heart that all will work out.
I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for the phone calls I get on a daily basis. I am grateful for those who leave a message on my blog, those who send a letter, those who stop by to say 'hi' or even leave a little treat, and I am grateful for those who help with rides to school and play time after school, those who help me make a quilt, invite me to the temple or take me to a movie.
I am grateful for all of my family, friends, friends of friends, and those of you I hardly know who's faith and prayers see me through on a daily basis.
I am grateful to have been born in this country and have medical advances available to me; I am grateful that I have responded well to those medicines. I am grateful for our house and job, our food on the table, a warm shower, and a soft bed. I am grateful for all the joys of life and wonders of the world I have experienced and know that there is much more joy for me yet to experience.
Thanks to you all for making my life full of things to be grateful for and thanks to God for making it all possible.
Love, Jeanel

Week Off

2008-11-23T19:16:00.000-07:00

It is amazing the difference one week can make. I began feeling a lot better on Wednesday and I have really enjoyed this week. I even felt well enough to get some Christmas shopping done and shop for some material for a quilt that Michelle Stay is going to help me make for the boys.
I met with my radiation oncologist this week and will begin the radiation treatments on 4 December. I will have them 2x/day for 4-5 weeks. I should finish at the beginning of 2009.
I began occupational therapy this week for my lymphedema (swelling) in my right arm. Bruce came with me on Thursday to learn how to do the massage and how to wrap my arm. He is a quick learner, but we have a tough time with compliance because it takes a long time and the boys can't be part of the equation.
My last chemo is on Wednesday. On Thursday we are looking forward to having Thanksgiving with my family at my brother Paul's house.
Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!
Love, Jeanel

One More to Go

2008-11-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

What a week! Words cannot express how much I hate this chemo. Even seeing it dripping into the IV line is enough to make me sick. I have so much admiration for my fellow chemo-ites who champion through this week after week. I recognize how much I have been blessed to tolerate things so well and marvel at the courage of those who don't. It really is a fight. It's a fight of physical stamina, emotional fortitude, and spiritual strength. Every day when I look into the eyes of my boys, husband, and the rest of my family, I know that it is worth it! I am so grateful for prayer- It gives me the opportunity to lay my burdens down and know that God is mindful of me and what I need. I am grateful for my daily miracles and count them when I feel overwhelmed. My spirit is quickly bouyed knowing of the prayers, faith, service, and friendship that you all offer on my behalf. I hope you all know that each of you make a difference in helping me fight this battle.
Love to you all and God bless!
Jeanel

Quite Weekend

2008-11-09T17:41:00.000-07:00

This has been a nice week. It took me about a week to recover from the chemo and my energy was a little lower, but I can check off another chemo treatment.
I was discussing with Bruce today how unfair it is that with this chemo I have gotten the hair back on my legs, but have lost my eye lashes and eye brows. Now this might not seem like that big of a deal for most, but for me it is a real struggle to create eye brows- It was hard enough to successfully use eye liner for basic application and I'd been doing it for 20 years... I feel like a rookie in the majors (and I never wanted to be drafted).
This weekend my sister took our three boys. Our house has never known such peace and quite. Bruce and I have enjoyed having the time to spend together and having time to do our individual projects. I was also able to go to my mom's new apartment. We had a great time running to Lowe's, going out to dinner, and assembling shelves without reading the instructions.
All is well on the home front. Keep the faith!
love, Jeanel

Happy Halloween

2008-11-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful Halloween! I can't remember a nicer night for trick-or-treating. The boys had a great time. Ryker did a great job saying, "trick treat" and "thank you". He was in awe of getting candy by just saying something so simple. He was also much more motivated climbing up to get the treat than he was climbing down. Landon and Xander enjoyed sprinting house to house and counting their loot when it was all said and done. They are working on mastering the art of negotiation as they trade their candy.
Life on the home front is plugging along. I had the second round of the new chemo on Thursday. Thankfully, I had enough energy to go trick-or-treating on Friday and then I crashed on Saturday and Sunday. I tried taking my anti-nausea meds on a schedule to avoid feeling really ucky. I think it helped and will do the same for the next two rounds. I'm feeling a bit better today and will be on the up-swing until my next treatment.
My mom moved into her apartment this weekend. She will be here during the day when I need her and be able to have her own space at night. My dad will be joining her soon, which will be a comfort to all.
The fight marches on! Thank you for your continued faith and prayers!
Love Jeanel

Tired

2008-10-23T15:09:00.000-06:00

The new round of chemo began on Friday. The day following treatment I need to go in and get a shot to boost my immune system, so on Saturday we went in as a family and had breakfast at the hospital. It's amazing that the boys think the hospital cafeteria is so much fun...
On Saturday afternoon I began to feel the affects of the new chemo, with the expensive anti-nausea meds. I was pretty nauseated for 2-3 days and slept a lot. Gratefully, my parents and Bruce were able to take care of the kids and let me rest. I have gradually started to feel less nausiated and have gained strength. It sure has been a reality check.
The boys have been enjoying the fall weather, halloween parties, and running around in the basement. Landon had a field trip to the pumpkin patch and played his last soccer game. Xander is really enjoying pre-school and having friends. Ryker is talking more and more each day. My favorite thing is when I hang up the phone he always asks, "Who's dat Mom?"
My dad left on Wednesday. We will all miss him!! Dad, thanks for everything you have done to help us!
Thanks to all of you for your continued support!
love, Jeanel

Starting Chemo Again

2008-10-18T10:19:00.000-06:00

We have had a change of plans this week. On Wednesday I went into my oncologist to get a maintenance drug and my bone treatment, which would have been followed by radiation in a few weeks. Instead we decided I should start the dreaded chemo they call the "Red Devil". I will have a treatment every other week, for a total of 4 treatments. My last treatment will be the day before Thanks Giving. I will then start radiation in December. This will be the year that my holidays are spent fighting the fight so that I can enjoy many more holiday seasons to come!
I was unable to start the chemo on Wednesday because my neck incision was not healed sufficiently. So I began the chemo on Friday and so far so good. For the cost of the anti-nausea meds, I hope to continue feeling pretty well...
On Wednesday I also met with my general surgeon. I have had some considerable amount of fluid build up in both breasts (we affectionately call them "side boobs" because ,most of the fluid build up is toward my sides), but the right one was the only one that bothered me, so to limit infection risk, it was the only one drained. My doctor was able to drain more than 9 ounces.
Both of my parents are in town so my mom has been able to take care of the kids and the home front, while my dad has been able to go with me to my medical appointments. We are so grateful for their love and support.
I started physical therapy for my arm range of motion and swelling after my surgery. I am hoping to do the majority on my own, but if I get lymphedema I will need more help. I really like my new PT and I'm on the hunt to find the right guy to set her up with. She is 30, cute, skinny, brunette, and very pleasant. I've already got a person in mind, but suggestions are welcome.
I have really enjoyed being back at home with Bruce and the boys. They have done well being soft and keeping things to a dull roar. It's amazing how much better I feel just being back with family.
Thanks! Please keep praying for us. We've been blessed with many miracles along the way.
Love, Jeanel

Recovering Well

2008-10-13T10:43:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a wonderful day! My mom and I had a great time talking about the gospel,life, and how the Lord watches over us. Bruce came down to Suzette's with the boys (Landon stayed overnight so that he could have some much needed cousin time), and Jeff came down for a visit with his family. It was so nice to see Bruce, Landon, Xander, and Ryker. The boys aren't much for gentle, snuggle time but it was great to have them in my space and hear their craziness. I can't tell you how the much I miss things that used to drive me crazy. I can't wait to get well so that I can take care of my boys, husband, and home.
Take time to enjoy the blessings of every day life! Thanks again for your faith and prayers. Miracles happen every day, especially with friends like you!
Love Jeanel

Silver Lining

2008-10-10T09:49:00.000-06:00

I am home (or I should say, at Suzette's)!
Yesterday was a big day. I got my calcium levels checked 6 times, the tubes pulled out of my chest and my throat, my IV out, and all of the stitches out of my chest. I continue to have fluid build up in my chest wall on both sides-- I'm not sure how or when that will be resolved...
The pathology is back from my neck surgery and shows just thryroid cancer (no breast cancer). Yeh!!!!
Upon arrival at the hospital I was asked to put on the hospital garb, including the tight white stockings. I'm not suppose to use much force with my arms, so Bruce had to put them on me. It took us so long (with great effort and lots of laughs) that the nurses kept checking in on us to be sure we were ok... I'm so glad that we still have plenty of things to laugh about.
My nephew, Sam, counted the stitches in my neck-- he is pretty sure there are 24. I will get them out on Monday. On Tuesday I will have my next treatment with the oncologist and have a follow up with the general surgeon. I will also start physical therapy next week to help get rid of the swelling and gain more arm range of motion.checking in on us.
Bruce has been a great help in attending to all of my needs and keeping my spirits up. I am so grateful that one of his gifts is to see the silver lining in our circumstance and help me do the same.
I am grateful for modern science, medicine and surgery. I am grateful for a surgeon who has sacrificed so much time and effort to be skilled at taking care of the hard stuff. I am grateful for caring staff (not the phloebotomist) and a clean hospital. I am grateful for my wonderful family. Last night I enjoyed a nice, cozy room with soft linens, no mid-night blood draws, no machines and lots of loving concern. I am so indebted to my friends and family who have jumped in with everything they have to take care of me and the needs of our family. I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who gives me all that I can handle and takes care of the rest.
Love Jeanel

Thyroid

2008-10-08T20:11:00.000-06:00

Yeh! I made it through my neck surgery. It hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought it would be. My voice is pretty raspy, but has gotten better throughout the day. I have a tube poking out of my neck (which is a little alarming) that will get pulled out tomorrow. I will also be getting discharged tomorrow and will head down to my sister's for a little R and R.
I am so relieved to have this sugery out of the way. One more thing to check off my list on the road to recovery.
Thanks for all of your thoughtful gifts, cards, flowers, prayers, and love. I am so grateful for your friendships. I can't tell you how much it has kept me going and helped me when things seem overwhelming.
Love to you all!
Jeanel

Hospital Shots

2008-10-04T18:06:00.000-06:00

Here are a few photos from my first hospital stay.
Things continue to progress well. My left arm is doing great, my right arm continues to be a little swollen and numb, especially under my arm, but I do see progress.
We got the surgical pathology back on Friday. My left breast came back normal and the right breast came back with minimal invasive ductal carcinoma and extensive in situ carcinoma. Only one out of six lymph nodes came back positive and there were good margins on all the samples. We aren't really sure what that means, but I will send the results to my doctor at Huntsman to get things rolling for after my recovery from the neck surgery on Tuesday.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, and a special thanks to all those who are helping with the boys while I am out of commission.
Love, Jeanel

I'm Home

2008-10-03T08:46:00.000-06:00

My surgery went off without a hitch. I slept so much during the day on Tuesday, that zzz's were hard to come by at night.
Wednesday was a family day. Jeff, Suzette, Paul, Amy, and Bruce kept me entertained. We had the end room on the med/surg floor and right outside my room was a little sun room area, which was perfect for our little family gathering. My mom flew in on Wed and was able to stop by before visiting hours were over.
Bruce brought Xander and Ryker by for a short visit Thursday morning. We went down to the cafeteria for a treat. The boys thought they were so big and had a great time.
I came home in the afternoon and have enjoyed the comforts of home. Xander and Ryker are at Jeff and Joni's for a few days. Landon has been enjoying a little alone time at home with his parents. He helped Bruce put up some Halloween decorations.
My sister, Suzette, is off to St. George to run the marathon. On her shirt she wrote, "One day at a time, one mile at a time." I am so proud of her! Go Sister- I love you!
My recovery is going well. I haven't been on pain meds since Wednesday. My right arm is more sore (mostly due to numbness) than the left because of the node dissection. I am working on gentle range of motion and good positioning.
We are working out the details for Tuesday's surgery at LDS Hospital.
The Lord has blessed me with peace during this time. Thank you for all of your prayers!
love, Jeanel

Big Day... Not So Big :)

2008-09-30T20:30:00.000-06:00

It's official- my center of gravity has changed. I assume all went well, as I cannot remember it. I spent most of the day sleeping or talking in a very groggy state of mind. Bruce has been my rock today- it has been really nice to have some quite time together.
The pain meds make me slightly nausiated, especially while trying to concentrate (type), so this will be short.
I just want you all to know that I'm doing well emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers!
Love, Jeanel

Miracles and Loving Friends

2008-09-27T21:38:00.000-06:00

Busy week with lots of great updates.
Chemo #12 was on Wednesday. It was a long day because I got my monthly bone treatment, my regular chemo, and a triple dose of Herceptin. I was also able to meet Amber, who has been battling Inflammatory Breast Cancer for over a year and has a young family. It was nice to talk with her and I look forward to getting to know her better.
After chemo I spent most of the day in my room trying keep my activity level down because of the PET scan on Thursday. I also had to eat a high protein/low carb diet that day-- just about killed me.
On Friday we got my PET scan results back which show that all of the previous sites (3+ bones, liver, lymph nodes, and right breast) have resolved, except for the thyroid area. A mighty miracle!! I kept reading and re-reading the results with such a grateful heart!!
On Friday we also excepted an offer on our lot and expect to close mid October.
This week I also was surprised with an ipod and gift cards from my grad school friends. I am so grateful for their generosity and thoughtfulness. I'm excited to have something that I will use all of the time that will remind me of them and the fun times we shared. The timing is great, as I will be laid up for the next month+ and luckily I will see my nephew, Spencer, so that he can get things figured out for me.
I was also surprised by a gift from friends at church who had donated to the Susan Koman Cancer Fund to win opportunities to win a quilt. Lucky for me they were successful and now I have a beautiful, comfy quilt made by the Utah Quilting Guild. It is awesome! Thank you so very much. I will feel of your love frequently as I wrap up in my new quilt.
As I look back on this week and think about how I have felt the past little while, I realize that even when I am sad at night, wishing for the days when my cares were much more simple, God has been with me. It has not been easy and there have been times when my sadness has been overwhelming, but I know that the Lord has strengthened me that I might bear this burden. I am so grateful for the miracles I have experienced along the way and have faith that there will be more.
Please continue to pray, especially as I head into surgery this week. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Love, Jeanel

Last Chemo Before the Big Day

2008-09-24T12:35:00.003-06:00

Today is Jeanel's last chemo treatment. It will be a looong day. She allowed this quick glimpse into what she has been doing for the last number of weeks. Your prayers are needed to help her get through her surgery next week. Again, I awe at her mighty strength. The Lord has truly blessed her with an inner fight and a never ending will!!! AMAZING WOMAN!!!

Mindful

2008-09-22T21:44:00.000-06:00

11 treatments down- just one more to go. This week I had some numbness in my hands, feet, and face, but it got less as the days went by.
On Thursday I went to the Social Security office to change Landon's card. While I was there talking to the worker at the window, one of the managers came by to see if he could help. He told me he would call me later to work out some issues. When he called we began to talk and realized that his wife also has inflammatory breast cancer. He told me that he never comes to the windows, but felt that he should come and talk to me. I am so grateful he did and will have the opportunity to meet his wife on Wednesday when we are in the chemo lab receiving our treatments.
Saturday, the boys spent the morning at Brooke and Sherms's while Bruce and I went to the temple. Thanks! We had a wonderful time together.
Suzette came up and spent the night on Saturday and spent most of Sunday with us. I am so lucky to have been blessed with my sister as my best friend. We had a great time and talked about a chic's weekend to NY!
Another development is that we have had three people call this week who are very interested in buying our lot. Nothing is in writing, but one step closer.
The Lord is mindful of us and He answers our prayers. So, thanks for all of your love, faith, and prayers.
Jeanel

Recent Pics

2008-09-20T15:30:00.000-06:00

We have not posted any pics of Jeanel, her hubby and the kids lately. So we did a photo shoot. Jeanel's oldest was not there, but he will add him ASAP!!!! Jeanel's strong, amazing spirit continues to shine through her eyes. We can only wish to have half of her strength. We LOVE You Jeanel!!!!!

Park City

2008-09-16T21:51:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the delay in posting. I've been having some computer technical difficulties.
Things continue to move along as we try to come up with a plan of attack. I had my 10th chemo on Wed. and on Thursday I had a CT guided biopsy of the thryoid mass (finally). The slides made from the biopsy aren't very good (there is more connective tissue than tumor cells), but they think the tumor is thyroid cancer not breast cancer. I'm not sure if that is good news, but it is news and does change things. At this point the surgeons are thinking that I should have my thyroid and the mass removed 2-3 weeks after the mastectomy. The verdict is not in and the experts have yet to weigh in, so I will keep you posted.
We had a wonderful weekend as a family in Park City. Bruce had a conference on Thursday and Friday, so we met in on Friday-Sunday. The boys had a great time exploring the hotel, swimming, doing the alpine slide and coaster, and having some family time. Its always nice to get away.
My learning moment this week was when I realized there are only 2 ways of living life- God's way and not God's way. There is no in between. That realization has helped me more fully put everything in the Lord's hands as I fight this fight.
Love this time of year! Enjoy the fresh air!
Jeanel

Surgery Scheduled

2008-09-07T20:49:00.001-06:00

Hello everyone! This week was a good one...I had a wonderful surprise this week when I received a digital scrapbook from my classmates in grad school. I got it in the mail and chose not to open it for a few days because I didn't want to get emotional. What a wonderful surprise to see the "glory days" in full color. It was so fun to reminisce. I also had a fun visit with Suzette on Thursday.
I had my 9th chemo on Wednesday. My blood counts continue to look good. I was feeling a little sad, so I was very grateful for the benedryl that they inject before chemo because it knocks me out and by the time I woke up, chemo was almost done and I was feeling better. :) On Friday I had my appointment with the surgeon who will do the mastectomy. It is on the books for the 30 Sept. Although it is a difficult step, I am looking forward to this milestone because it is a sign of progress.
As my journey continues, I am continually reminded of both the tragedies and blessings of life. No matter what our life experience is, the Lord Jesus Christ is our strength, our comfort, and the very focus of our faith.
Have a great week. Thanks for your continued faith and prayers!
Jeanel

Mass Investigation

2008-08-30T19:37:00.000-06:00

This week started with a trip to the ENT. By the end of the visit I had hoped that I would have the surgeon talked into performing the thyroidectomy with the mastectomy or at least a few days after. I wasn't able to persuade him into seeing things my way because he was preoccupied with a 4cm x 2cm mass that has yet to be identified. I was scheduled for a biopsy on Friday, however this was canceled and a technetium study in now scheduled for Tuesday. I'm not totally sure what the study's purpose is, but hopefully we get to the bottom of this.
I have renewed my internet searching as we get closer to surgery and subsequent chemo/radiation. I was excited to find the First International Inflammatory Breast Conference. It is Dec 5-7th in Houston. Hopefully we will find some life saving information at the conference.
On Wednesday, my mom was able to come with me to my 8th chemo treatment. All went well and as usual, I was able to catch a couple of z's. I was tired on Thursday, but Friday and Saturday were a better. I am looking forward to the long weekend with Bruce and the boys.
Saturday I made the sad trip to the airport with my mom. She returned to TN after a much appreciated extended stay with our family. I will miss the care, companionship, and concern. No matter how old you get, it is always comforting to have your mom by your side when things aren't going well. I already miss her.
Landon and Xander had their first full week of school. Landon is enjoying his class and by all accounts he is making the grade. Xander's teacher says that he is happy and making friends. Ryker and I have enjoyed him being an only child 2 days/wk.
Love to All!
Jeanel

Landon Turns 6. Thyroid Cancer Too?

2008-08-24T20:44:00.000-06:00

This has been a crazy week! On Monday I had a biopsy to see if the nodules on my thyroid were cancerous. On Wednesday we found out that not only are they cancerous, but they are a completely separate and independent form of cancer. I was fortunate enough to meet with the endocrinologist on Thursday (they are booked out until November). She was able to help us understand how this affects our current picture. Unlike most cancers, thyroid cancer is actually curable- if it hasn't spread. I will need to have my thyroid taken out, followed by a radioactive treatment. I am meeting with an ENT tomorrow to see how this can be coordinated with my mastectomy. I have also decided to have a bone biopsy to see if the cancer in my ribs/vertebrae is from my thyroid or breast cancer.
Bruce and I have wondered how this new news would have affected us had I not already had breast cancer. As is, it is just another bump in the road, but I was a little offended by the oncologist thinking the finding was "interesting".
I had my 7th chemo treatment on Wednesday. Things continue to plug along. My skin continues to look more normal, the tumor is harder and harder to find, my blood counts are really good and my energy level is pretty good. My tired days are Friday and Saturday, but better than expected.
On Friday we celebrated Landon's 6th birthday. I was able to go to his 1st grade class and play hangman with his classmates, as well as share his birthday treat. His cousin, Wilson, was also able to spend the night. On Saturday, Landon had his first big party- we went to a gymnastics gym and had lots of friends and family there to celebrate. Kim helped me make a Pokemon cake decoration- Landon loved it! Landon is an amazing person. I learn from him every day. I love how he is so bright and full of life. He is bursting with things to say and wants to experience life to it's fullest. He is so sweet and loves to be my helper. We have a special bond and I am so blessed to have him as my first baby.
Thanks again for your love and support! I can feel the strength of your love and support!
Jeanel

Huntsman Update

2008-08-18T08:35:00.000-06:00

It was a very busy week this week and much was accomplished. On Wednesday I had chemo in the morning and went to Huntsman in the afternoon. As usual, I slept through most of chemo and felt pretty well. We had an hour or so before we had to leave to Huntsman, so I finished making a comparative chart of my test results because there is a lot of variation from test to test. Huntsman was all that we had anticipated. We are on a good treatment path and the tumor continues to shrink and the skin looks better and better. The only difference suggested by the Huntsman doctors would be to push through chemo (if my blood counts stay high enough) even if I have sensory/motor loss in my hands/feet or have heart problems. I am planning on returning to Huntsman after my surgery which is projected to be the first part of October.
We are continuing to work on the house. On Saturday we had lots of help emptying out our basement and staging the house. I had tired days on Friday and Saturday, so the help and understanding is even that much more appreciated. Thank you to all those who pitched in to lend a helping hand or even an awesome trailer :)!
As I begin to feel the affects of chemo I continue to be more humbled and appreciate that every thing is in the hands of the Lord. Thank you for praying and helping me fight the good fight!
Love Jeanel

Bald is Beautiful!

2008-08-10T21:04:00.000-06:00

This has been a good week! Thanks to the Routson's for hosting the shaving party!! A fun time was had by all. I hope that people did not regret their decision once they went home and looked in the mirror. (Some people are even more beautiful bald :)) I really appreciate the support!
Thursday-Sunday was the Otto Family Reunion. We began the weekend by decorating pink t-shirts with the "fight the cancer" theme. It was great to see every one's creativity come out and feel the love and support. We had a great time playing games, hanging out, talking, and of course eating good food. Thanks to everyone for playing your parts, believing in my miracle, and helping us through this. I look forward to many more!
This week's chemo went well. I was actually anticipating not feeling well, especially after last week) but was happily surprised. On Wednesday, I am going to have one more chemo treatment before having a break next week. That will be treatment #6. Following the chemo I will head to Huntsman Cancer Institute with Bruce and my dad for a second opinion. I am so excited and grateful to have this appointment. I am happy with my current treatment, but want to know that we are doing everything that we can and also want to be prepared if we run into any road blocks down later.
Keep praying! Love, Jeanel

Head Shaving Party!!!!!!

2008-08-07T20:24:00.000-06:00

Some of the men and boys, from Jeanel's Wonderful Ward, BRAVELY shaved their heads.I have to say, they all looked great and have nice domes!!!! Including Jeanel!!!!

Not So Bad

2008-08-03T22:02:00.000-06:00

Now that we are a little further down this road I am going to try to do an update every Sunday.
The big shave was on Friday, August 1st. It was a day that I will never forget. I am so grateful that my mom and Brooke were with me. When I got home I was wishing that the boys were in bed so that I could take the wig off because it was/is extremely itchy. Quickly it became too uncomfortable to care who was around. I had yet to see myself, so Bruce I and went together for the unveiling. Again, the sadness came, but so did relief. It is a part of the journey that I expected and now can check off the list.
After Bruce and I had our moment, we took the boys up to our room and let them see my new doo. Bruce had just taken them to get their hair cut so they were able to relate. They took it in stride and didn't seem to be emotionally scarred. Landon thinks I have a boy's hair cut, Xander says I'm beautiful but occasionally asks me to put my hair back on and tells me he can't take his hair off, and Ryker pets me and says, "hair".
The wig itself is passable if you don't look to closely, but I don't think I'm much of a wig-chic. I much prefer throwing on my new pink Park City baseball hat. Too bad the scarf/bandana market is skewed towards grandmas.
Anyway, in relative comparison my hair is of little consequence. But at the same time, the big picture continues to be overwhelming. In order to keep functioning as normally as possible, I try to focus on today and the immediate future. I am mindful of taking time to enjoy the boys a little more and marvel at how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband and loving and supportive family and friends.
Thanks and God Bless!
Love Jeanel

The Doo deed is done!!!!

2008-08-01T20:25:00.001-06:00

Today was an eventful day!!! Jeanel decided the clumps of hair falling out was to be no more. She was sooo brave to have her head shaved and get a new doo. What an AMAZING women!!!

It was fun watching her try on all the Doo's!!! Doesn't she look GREAT!!!

Bye-bye hairdoo

2008-07-31T14:19:00.000-06:00

Hey Guys!
Just a quick update on what has happened since the fight party. Life is good and things are progressing well. I just finished my fourth chemo treatment. It was the first time that I was actually a little tired/green, but I had a good night sleep and I am doing well.

I am scheduled for a fifth treatment next Wednesday. When I asked for a sixth treatment before having a break, the doctor got a little put off and I decided not to push him any further. Bruce and I are going to put together a letter to send around the country to IBC specialty clinics to make sure we are doing all that we can do. I am also trying to get to get into the Huntsman Center for a second opinion. My current oncologist is part of the Huntsman network, but we'd like to know that everyone is on the same page.

Yesterday was a sad day because my hair began to fall out in copious amounts. I've been waiting for it to happen, but the reality of it was still hard. Ryker saw a pile of hair and said, "yucky". I am hoping to make it until Saturday before the big shave. I'm going to find some cool doo-rags/hats and of course the wig.

We continue to pray for our miracle. This is what I know: I have been promised that I am blessed with "health and strength, able to enjoy the blessings coming my way." In addition, the Book of Mormon line that is sticking in my head is, "if ye keep my commandments, ye will prosper in the land." We are doing all that we can do to follow the commandments and to fight the fight. This is my land and I am staying put. We are doing our part and know that the Lord will do his part. With God all things are possible.

Thanks for your love and support. Enjoy every day!

Love,
Jeanel

More Pics from Fight Party!

2008-07-20T14:07:00.001-06:00

The Fight Begins!!!!

2008-07-19T16:27:00.000-06:00

Today we had a "Start the Fight" party for Jeanel. It was amazing the love and support she has around her. She is in good spirits and was grateful to those who attended and send letter!!! She had port placed Tues, second dose of chemo Wed and her father, brother and sister-in-law left Fri. Her only affects so far from the chemo is a little acne and soreness. She is one AMAZING women. Her strength is incredible. She and Bruce are off for a weekend together. Much needed time!!! Thanks to all!!! We will be hopefully posting each week. Please feel free to leave comments. Jeanel will be checking the sight regularly.

2008-07-13T15:28:00.000-06:00